All Sam Kinison Quotes
- If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows. Drum
- I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!'… Carnal
- It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!! Food
- What happened? Satan was busy? Busy
- There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out. Cocaine
- I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up… Called
- Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it. Art
- AIDS is a horrible disease, and the people who catch it deserve compassion. Aids
- If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together. Learned
- When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man. Anyone
- With any other celebrity, people come up and say, 'Hey, I really like your work.' But with my fans, when they see me, they don't… Any
- Rock Against Drugs, what a name. Somebody was high when they came up with that title. It's like Christians Against Christ. Rock created drugs. Came
- Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change. Change
- Obviously I'm not a role model for impressionable youth. Impressionable
- Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare… Came
- Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad. Gotta
- I'd rather entertain people than offend them. Entertain
- I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild. Deny
- I'm attracted to heartbreakers. Attracted
- Everything can be satirized. Funny
- Not that I want to put the entire rap music style down - I just don't like it. And I know somewhere there's gotta be… Another Guy
- So many of these comics are just frustrated singers or actors - they want to get a gig doing a sitcom. It's paint-by-the-numbers comedy, lame… Actor
- What am I responsible for? Who am I responsible to? Everybody? How come when Archie Bunker nailed everybody, it was funny - but when I… Archie
- Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row. All
- I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. Bachelors