Rudy Espinoza

All Rudy Espinoza Quotes

• When people call me a creep, I don''t take it as an insult. I wear that label proudly. I don't want to be like the… Call
• She has pretentious conversations about art house films. I have pretentious conversations about porno clips. We were doomed from the start ..... Art
• Im working on a pop-up book called, That Explains the Birds and the Bees. Bees
• My 3 favorite activities: 1. Drinking 2. Golf 3. Sex ~ I rely very heavily on my right hand for all three. Activities
• When I'm stalking my exes on Facebook, sometimes I think, 'I should have never let her go.'...but most times I think, 'She really let herself… Ex Girlfriend
• When my erection lasts for more than 4 hours after taking Viagra, I don't go see a doctor, I go see a picture of Whoopi… Antidote
• I want a friend named Gertrude so I can walk into the supermarket with her and yell, Yo Gert, when we are in the Ice… Cream
• I used to play Another One Bites The Dust after every conquest. But I'm old now so I'm changing it to Another One Bites The… Age
• Now I know why they call them pay stubs. My take home pay has been amputated. Thanks Obama. Amputated
• I extend my condolences to those who have lost a loved one by saying, Good mourning. Condolences
• Did you notice all of the cops pulling people over and writing tickets in the freezing weather this morning? Neither did I ...... All
• America - where people get more worked up over a bicyclist's lies than a president's lies. America
• The Lingerie Football League is changing their name to Legends. No more lingerie. They will play in bra and panties instead. It's a sad day… America
• The tragedy of being an underachiever is that I know what I should be, but reality keeps telling me that I'm wrong. Keeps
• If I were a teacher, I wouldn't just test the student mind ... I would test the entire student body. Body
• She: What's your sign? Me: Liquor Up Front. Poker In The Rear. Doggie Style
• Why are people surprised that 49er Chris Culliver made anti-gay remarks. Men say much worse things in male-dominated arenas. Anti
• If Obama had his way no one would win a football game. Each score would be distributed equally and everyone gets a trophy even if… Distributed
• Olympic double amputee Oscar Pistorius was arrested and charged with killing his girlfriend today. It looks pretty cut and dried and he doesn't appear to… Amputee
• Happy Valentine's Day. Hope you're spending the evening with someone special. Or at least with some one who doesn't stink. Day
• I lift my restraining order against sobriety for 40 days each Lent. I miss you alcohol. Alcohol
• My imaginary girlfriend's giving up sex for Lent. Palm Sunday's taking on a whole new meaning for me. Abstinence
• She: What do you really want from me? Me: I really want you to lower your standards so I can climb on top of you. Climb
• Why do people want to be gay married? If I get married again, I'm changing the vows from Til Death Do Us Part to Life… Changing
• She: What are you thinking about? Me: I'm thinking that I'll never be able to watch all of the porn I've downloaded to my computer. Able

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