You don't despair about something like the Middle East, you just do the best you can. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don't need politics, they have jobs. — P. J. O'Rourke Good smart Copy Share Image
If Disney still wants to make Epcot Center futuristic, they could do so by blowing the place up with an atom bomb. — P. J. O'Rourke Atom bomb Copy Share Image
I always thought there was some romance to that '30s leftist stuff, even though I'm a Republican. — P. J. O'Rourke Leftists Copy Share Image
The dominant type of humor in the '60s was essentially defensive and self-deprecating, using humor as a shield. — P. J. O'Rourke Comedy Copy Share Image
I blame feminism and Facebook for the death of the American automobile. I'm a Republican, so I blame everything on feminism -… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I don't see evidence of America being a poorer country than it was 20 years ago. I've seen impoverished devastation. I've seen… — P. J. O'Rourke America Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with… — P. J. O'Rourke America Copy Share Image
Human problems are complex. If something isn't complex it doesn't qualify as problematic. Very simple bad things are not worth troubling ourselves… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The day was warm and clear. Kids were playing soccer in the parking lots and women were sunning their babies and having… — P. J. O'Rourke Baby Copy Share Image
That doesn't mean that you should just sit back and just let accidents happen to you. No, you have to go out… — P. J. O'Rourke Accidents Copy Share Image
The anti-individualist enemies that Ayn Rand battled are still the enemy, but they've shifted their line of attack. Political collectivists are no… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Affirmative action makes employers think, 'Black woman nuclear physicist? Hah! Probably let her into Harvard 'cause they were looking for a twofer.… — P. J. O'Rourke Action Copy Share Image
Especially with a magazine like Lampoon, which was very dependent on newsstand sales. Our readers didn't usually occupy the same address long… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
As a longtime former resident of 15 years in Washington, I wish that everybody would stay off the Mall with their political… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
[Kurt] Vonnegut once said, if you ever want to know who somebody is... Like you look at Richard Nixon, or Adolf Hitler,… — P. J. O'Rourke Behavior Copy Share Image
I've never been able to get it straight about what these people who are worried about the trade deficit are worried about.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It doesn't matter how many televisions and computers and pieces of stereo equipment the Chinese send to us, even if they're sending… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'd known the people at Rolling Stone for a while. I'd gone to them with a piece I'd done on Beirut for… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Oh, God. The Sixties are coming back. Well I've got a 12-gauge double-barreled duck gun chambered for three-inch Magnum shells. And -… — P. J. O'Rourke Beatnik Copy Share Image
I figured if I could put together being funny about stuff and actual events, maybe I could do something that wasn't being… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I don't think I'll ever be a real boat reporter. My Rolex isn't big enough. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's nothing more oily and cynical in politics than telling the truth. — P. J. O'Rourke Cynical Copy Share Image
I myself am a parent in a small business. Number of employees: one. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. — P. J. O'Rourke Government Copy Share Image
Cockfighting has always been my idea of a great sport -- two armed entrées battling to see who'll be dinner. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
![“[Kurt] Vonnegut once said, if you ever want to know who somebody is... Like you look at Richard Nixon, or Adolf Hitler, or Ralph Nader, or anybody who seems like a difficult person to understand, and is therefore not part of the pattern of human behavior. Think about who they were in high school…” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/900/p-j-o-rourke-184_behavior_kurt-vonnegut-once-said-if-you-ever-want_97504.jpg)
