Sometimes you need a B-2 bomber and sometimes you need your mother. — P. J. O'Rourke Bomber Copy Share Image
There isn't much room for an outsider point of view in print any more. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Jewishness cropped up and has never successfully been put down since. — P. J. O'Rourke Israel Copy Share Image
Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I started reading Hunter S. Thompson when I was in college. — P. J. O'Rourke College Copy Share Image
A deadly sins addendum is long overdue. Life has changed since Pope Gregory the Great scribbled his initial list in the sixth… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Afghans themselves say that if you put two Afghans in a room, you get three factions. — P. J. O'Rourke Afghans Copy Share Image
The purpose of the Senate is to keep 100 middle aged knuckleheads out of the private sector where they can do real harm. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
'You're stupid,' is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I think Michael O'Donoghue felt he'd said what he wanted to say. In fact, nobody thought we could spin it out long… — P. J. O'Rourke Book Copy Share Image
Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is. — P. J. O'Rourke Fish Copy Share Image
As murderous industrial magnates go, Alfred Nobel is right up there with Ray Kroc, franchiser of McDonald's. — P. J. O'Rourke Food Copy Share Image
Humor is a terrific tool for explaining things, especially when what you're explaining is frightening or dull and complicated. — P. J. O'Rourke Comedy Copy Share Image
Conservatives really don't believe in politics as the primary instrument of getting along in life and therefore don't tend to put their… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The poor are an especially important resource for innovation when they have the bravery and pluck to get out of the poor… — P. J. O'Rourke Bravery Copy Share Image
Medical researchers don't know much about head lice because they don't much care. The reason that they don't much care is, paradoxically,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Hunter S. Thompson and I are old friends, but what we do is so different. There are surface similarities that really have… — P. J. O'Rourke Being frustrated Copy Share Image
Americans are good at pursuing happiness. And the Americans who pursue happiness most diligently show that we're also good at running it… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
One of the things that makes me a conservative, or a libertarian, or whatever the heck it is that I am -… — P. J. O'Rourke Big government Copy Share Image
Banning paper and plastic and making shoppers carry their groceries home in their mouths like dogs is just the thing to make… — P. J. O'Rourke Banning Copy Share Image
A cocktail party is what you call it when you invite everyone you know to come over to your house at six… — P. J. O'Rourke Cigarette Copy Share Image
Iraq's invasion of Kuwait is a case of bad men doing wrong things for wicked reasons. This is the full-sized or standard… — P. J. O'Rourke America Copy Share Image
I'm old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now. You've probably never… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
We have no one to blame for the Kennedys but ourselves. We took the Kennedys to heart of our own accord. And… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Imagine if all of life were determined by majority rule. Every meal would be a pizza. Every pair of pants, even those… — P. J. O'Rourke Being married Copy Share Image
[T]he Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was… — P. J. O'Rourke Abuse Copy Share Image
The prevalence of mobile homes does not correspond with the prevalence of poverty, or with much of anything else. All that can… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Wealth is, for most people, the only honest and likely path to liberty. With money comes power over the world. Men are… — P. J. O'Rourke Art Copy Share Image
There's no telling what might have happened to our defense budget if Saddam Hussein hadn't invaded Kuwait that August and set everyone… — P. J. O'Rourke August Copy Share Image
I spent a lot of time behind the Iron Curtain, and their cars were abysmal. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Worshiping the earth is more fun than going to church. It's also closer. — P. J. O'Rourke Church Copy Share Image
![“[T]he Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock? Peace Corps volunteers? Or maybe the people in Texas were…” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d2/p-j-o-rourke-184_abuse_t-he-clinton-administration-launched-an_664366.png)
