Coffee and cigarettes are much better if you want an instant breakfast. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Is Bill Clinton so good at politics, or are other politicians so bad? — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely. — P. J. O'Rourke Cleanliness Copy Share Image
Popular culture has become engorged, broadening and thickening until it's the only culture anyone notices. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Nobel Peace Prize has always been a joke - albeit a grim one. Alfred Bernhard Nobel famously invented dynamite and felt… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Why can't death - if we must have it - be always glorious, as in 'The Iliad?' — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. — P. J. O'Rourke Cuisine Copy Share Image
There are lots of levels of fear and complaint about the government getting involved in business. First and foremost, of course, is… — P. J. O'Rourke Business Copy Share Image
In Japan people drive on the left. In China people drive on the right. In Vietnam it doesn't matter. — P. J. O'Rourke China Copy Share Image
Marijuana is self-punishing. It makes you acutely sensitive, and in this world, what worse punishment could there be? — P. J. O'Rourke Crime Copy Share Image
“No, everything will not be all right if we just talk it over, face facts, use our noodles.” — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Each American embassy comes with two permanent features - a giant anti-American demonstration and a giant line for American visas. Most demonstrators… — P. J. O'Rourke America Copy Share Image
Name me, if you can, a better feeling than the one you get when you've half a bottle of Chivas in the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
What is obnoxious about the motives of politicians - whatever those motives may be - is that politicians must announce their motives… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Farm policy, although it's complex, can be explained. What it can't be is believed. No cheating spouse, no teen with a wrecked… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the… — P. J. O'Rourke English language Copy Share Image
We're told cars cause pollution. A hundred years ago city streets were ankle deep in horse excrement. What kind of pollution do… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the near old and those who hope or… — P. J. O'Rourke Government Copy Share Image
Neither liberal nor conservative politicians can resist the temptation to stand as mighty sequoias of rectitude amid the lowly underbrush of fundraising. — P. J. O'Rourke Conservative Copy Share Image
In the end we beat them with Levi's 501 jeans. Seventy-two years of communist indoctrination and propaganda was drowned out by a… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It is important to remember when making jokes about women, that they are not a minority. They weren't captured on another continent… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Most of us had never seen a sober redneck before, and we have the Reagan Landslide to testify that none of us… — P. J. O'Rourke American politics Copy Share Image
Political systems must love poverty-they produce so much of it. Poor people make easier targets for a demagogue. No Mao or even… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The great thing about being a print journalist is that you are permitted to duck. Cameramen get killed while the writers are… — P. J. O'Rourke Alive Copy Share Image
If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it's a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Remember, FDA employees are serious about fear. We pay these people to panic about an iota of rodent hair in our chili,… — P. J. O'Rourke Apples Copy Share Image
If the dollar weakens, then presumably all the things that we make in the United States - Buicks, for instance - can… — P. J. O'Rourke Buying Copy Share Image
[Al] Franken is left-wing and funny. He's a pretty good political humorist. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
![“I didn't realize what fun it was [ been a reporter].” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/53a/p-j-o-rourke-184_fun_i-didn-t-realize-what-fun-it-was-been-a_1460242.png)
![“[Al] Franken is left-wing and funny. He's a pretty good political humorist.” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86b/p-j-o-rourke-184_als_al-franken-is-left-wing-and-funny-he-s-a_1874742.png)
