America Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

America is a meritocracy.

— P. J. O'Rourke

The average IQ in America is—and this can be proven mathematically—average.

— P. J. O'Rourke

This country was founded by religious nuts with guns.

— P. J. O'Rourke

“Americans appreciate bad taste or America wouldn’t look the way America does.”

— P. J. O'Rourke

Maybe the real secret to America's greatness is that we hate one another.

— P. J. O'Rourke

I don't understand anything about America's culture.

— P. J. O'Rourke

America's grossly unfair tax system won't lead to class war. Or, if it does, the war will be brief.

— P. J. O'Rourke

The people I see on bicycles look like organic-gardening zealots who advocate federal regulation of bedtime and want American foreign policy to…

— P. J. O'Rourke

America has to act. But, when America acts, other nations accuse us of being 'hegemonistic', of engaging in 'unilateralism', of behaving as…

— P. J. O'Rourke

America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Democrats hate America being a world power because world power gives power to the nation instead of to Democrats.

— P. J. O'Rourke

This country is so urbanized we think low-fat milk comes from cows on Nutri/System weight-loss plans.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Americans are good at pursuing happiness. And the Americans who pursue happiness most diligently show that we're also good at running it…

— P. J. O'Rourke

I don't see evidence of America being a poorer country than it was 20 years ago. I've seen impoverished devastation. I've seen…

— P. J. O'Rourke

The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Our democracy, our culture, our whole way of life is a spectacular triumph of the blah. Why not have a political convention…

— P. J. O'Rourke

America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God. Start thinking…

— P. J. O'Rourke

The subculture of felons is in great vogue among adolescents. Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, and so forth allow us Republicans to say to…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Each American embassy comes with two permanent features - a giant anti-American demonstration and a giant line for American visas. Most demonstrators…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Now for good or ill, California is the place where trends tend to be set in Western civilization - if civilization indeed…

— P. J. O'Rourke

The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Cats are to dogs what modern people are to the people we used to have. Cats are slimmer, cleaner, more attractive, disloyal,…

— P. J. O'Rourke

I have a 10 year old at home, and she is always saying, 'That's not fair.' When she says that, I say,…

— P. J. O'Rourke

So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than…

— P. J. O'Rourke

The number of American presidential candidates varies with the sunspot cycle and the phases of the moon. Being a Republican, I'm backing…

— P. J. O'Rourke

In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures…

— P. J. O'Rourke

It is easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's favorite pet. People like pets to possess…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Moviemakers are rewarded with tax write-offs if, when seeking a location that looks like America, they seek it in America.

— P. J. O'Rourke

For decades in America, there has been an effort to ensure that the rights of those who are not sane are the…

— P. J. O'Rourke

America is not doctrinaire. It's hard for an American politician to come up with an ideological position that is permanently unforgivable.

— P. J. O'Rourke

You can't destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America's elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Politics doesn't work. Look at the parts of America where government has had the most power, where government has spent the most…

— P. J. O'Rourke

In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So,…

— P. J. O'Rourke

I covered the Lebanese civil war. I could see a place that had once been prosperous and now was impoverished. I'm not…

— P. J. O'Rourke

The Republican convention, an event with the intellectual content of a Guns'n'Roses lyric attended by every ofay insurance brokerin America who owns…

— P. J. O'Rourke

The America's Cup is like driving your Lamborgini to the Gran Prix track to watch the charter buses race.

— P. J. O'Rourke

America gives every appearance of being a nation besotted with trashiness - divorce, illegitimacy, casual Fridays.

— P. J. O'Rourke

The people who despise America are the editors of the 'New Statesman.' Their green-card applications must have been turned down.

— P. J. O'Rourke

America is the world's policeman, all right -- a big, dumb, mick flatfoot in the middle of the one thing cops dread…

— P. J. O'Rourke

It remains to be seen which program will cause greater societal damage: China's one-child policy or America's one-parent policy.

— P. J. O'Rourke