If a journalist shows a facility for praise he's liable to be offered a job in public relations or advertising and the… — P. J. O'Rourke Advertising Copy Share Image
Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences.… — P. J. O'Rourke Care Copy Share Image
One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding… — P. J. O'Rourke Classroom Copy Share Image
There are artists with palettes and easels selling the kind of modern art that Soviet art critics used to critique with bulldozers.… — P. J. O'Rourke Art Copy Share Image
There is only one basic human right: the right to do as you please, without causing others harm. With it comes our… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Lampoon started in 1970, and I began writing freelance for them around the end of 1971, and then all through '72.… — P. J. O'Rourke Chiefs Copy Share Image
Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government do it to somebody else. This is the… — P. J. O'Rourke Foreign policy Copy Share Image
If you spend seventy-two hours in a place you've never been, talking to people whose language you don't speak about social, political,… — P. J. O'Rourke Complexity Copy Share Image
I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources,… — P. J. O'Rourke Analysis Copy Share Image
The Chinese had gunpowder, but it didn't occur to them to put it in a gun. They possessed the compass but didn't… — P. J. O'Rourke China Copy Share Image
“What I believed in the Sixties: Everything. You name it. What I believe now: Nothing. Well, nothing much. Like, things that can… — P. J. O'Rourke Experiment Copy Share Image
The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce. Put Tabasco sauce in everything. Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is… — P. J. O'Rourke Bachelors Copy Share Image
I think every high school student who was alert during the early '60s got very embittered by the slow progress and the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April… — P. J. O'Rourke April Copy Share Image
I'm too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom's earring in his tongue, who combs his… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There are selves too big for one person to contain. You cannot call them selfish. There is nothing -ish about such selves.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People are always angry at America. They're absolutely certain that America either caused their problems or is deliberately not fixing their problems.… — P. J. O'Rourke America Copy Share Image
Any person who has spent time outdoors actually doing something, such as hunting and fishing as opposed to standing there with a… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A Kindle returns us to the inconvenience of the scroll, except with batteries and electronic glitches. It's as handy as bringing Homer… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You'd better go look… — P. J. O'Rourke Animal Copy Share Image
I live in rural New Hampshire, and we are, frankly, short on people who are black, gay, Jewish, and Hispanic. In fact,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There is that kind of happiness. There is the love and marriage and family kind of happiness, which is exceedingly boring to… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
