“And Mom? You're a good girl." "Thank you. That's very sweet of you, Chuck" Though what I was really thinking was: This… — Merrill Markoe Chuck Copy Share Image
Reality television is a scripted hyper-life that employs writers, but won't allow them to call themselves writers or join the union. — Merrill Markoe Hyper Copy Share Image
When anyone lacks self-awareness and doesn't recognize their transparencies, it's always funny. — Merrill Markoe Awareness Copy Share Image
Men, as a general rule, shy away from therapy because there is no obvious way to keep score. — Merrill Markoe Greatness Copy Share Image
Whatever behavior you've experienced from people in the past, expect them to do it again and again and again. — Merrill Markoe Again and again Copy Share Image
“I have a very hard time getting to rage. I always assume that maybe I've done something wrong and then forgotten about… — Merrill Markoe Guilt Copy Share Image
No one would argue against the fact that L.A. leads the country in opportunities for being hip and pretentious. — Merrill Markoe Argue Copy Share Image
Since - in my belief system - we each get only one go-round here on planet Earth, it is the task of… — Merrill Markoe Belief Copy Share Image
“Why do you always come in to kiss me while I'm on the toilet?" I asked. "Makes us feel close to you,"… — Merrill Markoe Peeing Copy Share Image
“Though it seems like time itself moves more slowly when you're in the presence of people who actually see and hear you.… — Merrill Markoe Presence Copy Share Image
Beware the old man in young guy's clothes. If he's over 35 and comes to pick you up looking as though he's… — Merrill Markoe Clothes Copy Share Image
Conversely, beware the man who does nothing but ask you questions about yourself and offers no information about himself. Not only is… — Merrill Markoe About yourself Copy Share Image
If you begin a conversation about potato salad and find yourself being called a castrating bitch, don't waste your time going around… — Merrill Markoe Bitch Copy Share Image
Some people know that they are so adorable looking, all they have to do is smile and dress up and they get… — Merrill Markoe Adorable Copy Share Image
“By the time the last of these relationships ended I was such a quaking mass of colliding, exploding neurotransmitter malfunctions that the… — Merrill Markoe Love romance Copy Share Image
“At least watching dirty movies can be kind of fascinating if they aren't too horribly strange. And even the horribly strange ones… — Merrill Markoe Dirty movie Copy Share Image
I’ve made my life’s work spotting assholes. And you know, I think it’s harder now than ever before because there’s so many… — Merrill Markoe Acceptable Copy Share Image
“Once you get into it, it's all you can think about. Look, I know you don't trust my judgment because I eat… — Merrill Markoe Right now Copy Share Image
“Well, there's two kinds of peeing...There's regular peeing, because you have to pee. And then there's auxiliary competitive peeing. For acquiring empire.… — Merrill Markoe Fart Copy Share Image
I have learned that the stuff that causes me anxiety, the stuff I instinctively veer away from, is usually a road map… — Merrill Markoe Anxiety Copy Share Image
“That's just stupid," said Chuck. "Have a look around at the rest of the animal kingdom lately? I'll have sex with anyone… — Merrill Markoe Animal kingdom Copy Share Image
