“Maybe this is kind of cliche, but animals, well, dogs, are what I do for a living. One reason I like spending… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
“I'm clear with all my bitches...I hump her till she bites me. Then it's adios bitches, time for BALL.” — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
Every moment of your life that is not a complete nightmare is happiness. — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
If you begin a conversation about potato salad and find yourself being called a castrating bitch, don't waste your time going around… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
“By the time the last of these relationships ended I was such a quaking mass of colliding, exploding neurotransmitter malfunctions that the… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
As you can imagine this is a very emotional moment for me because Dave promised me many times that I was the… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
Whatever behavior you've experienced from people in the past, expect them to do it again and again and again. — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
“I have a very hard time getting to rage. I always assume that maybe I've done something wrong and then forgotten about… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
You just never know when it might be cookie time. And, that is what the dogs have taught me. — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
“Though it seems like time itself moves more slowly when you're in the presence of people who actually see and hear you.… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
More than any other personality trait, my mother seemed to be ruled by anger and sadness. She seemed to hate being a mother. Watching… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
The whole narcissism and echo syndrome is usually the result of early childhood training. Those are very hard habits for anyone to break. — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
Some people know that they are so adorable looking, all they have to do is smile and dress up and they get plenty from… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
A more complex - but only slightly more original - way to feel out of it is available at the hip and pretentious nightclubs… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
I really enjoyed Merrill Markoe's Guide To Glamorous Living, which was a weird hybrid reality/sketch thing I wrote, directed, and hosted, with two male-model… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
It's surely no accident that there are horoscopes in Vogue, Glamour, Mademoiselle, Woman, New Woman, Elle and Cosmo ... but not Sports Illustrated, GQ,… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
Beware the old man in young guy's clothes. If he's over 35 and comes to pick you up looking as though he's headed for… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
“Maybe this is kind of cliche, but animals, well, dogs, are what I do for a living. One reason I like spending time with… — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
Beware the man who doesn't ask you any questions about yourself on your first date. — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
“I'm clear with all my bitches...I hump her till she bites me. Then it's adios bitches, time for BALL.” — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
Every moment of your life that is not a complete nightmare is happiness. — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
When anyone lacks self-awareness and doesn't recognize their transparencies, it's always funny. — Merrill Markoe Copy Share Image
