All Mark Twain Quotes
- More than once I have been humiliated by my resemblance to God the father; He is always longing for the love of His children and… Always Longing
- Now I can only pray that there may be a God -- and a heaven -- or something better. Better
- God pours out love upon all with a lavish hand -- but He reserves vengeance for His very own. All
- It is the will of God that we must have critics and missionaries and congressmen and humorists, and we must bear the burden Bear
- We grant God the possession of all the qualities of mind except the one that keeps the others healthy; that watches over their dignity; that… All
- What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to be everything. Catholic
- None of us can be as great as God, but any of us can be as good. Any
- God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance. Atrocious
- Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination? Combination
- To be busy is man's only happiness. Busy
- The perfection of wisdom, and the end of true philosophy is to proportion our wants to our possessions, our ambitions to our capacities, we will… Ambition
- Happiness ain't a thing in itself - it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. Contrast
- Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate. Accounts
- I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is past-can't be restored. Fact
- The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes. Doe
- History never repeats itself; at best it sometimes rhymes. Best
- The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the… Awaken
- Laughter without a tinge of philosophy is but a sneeze of humor. Genuine humor is replete with wisdom. Genuine
- Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit… All
- Humor is the good natured side of a truth. Good
- Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes. Animal
- So you see, the quality of humor is not a personal or a national monopoly. It's as free as salvation, and, I am afraid, far… Afraid
- I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I have never stooped… Alleged
- Probably there is an imperceptible touch of something permanent that one feels instinctively to adhere to true humour, whereas wit may be the mere conversational… Adhere
- Information appears to stew out of me naturally, like the precious otter of roses out of the otter. Appears