All Mark Twain Quotes
- What marriage is to morality, a properly conducted licensed liquor traffic is to sobriety. Conducted
- Ethical man: A Christian holding four aces. Aces
- When someone dies, it is like when your house burns down; it isn't for years that you realize the full extent of your loss. Burns
- Old habits cannot be thrown out the upstairs window. They have to be coaxed downstairs one step at a time. Coaxed
- Shall we go on conferring our Civilization upon the peoples that sit in darkness, or shall we give those poor things a rest? Civilization
- Each person is born to one possession which outvalues all his others-his last breath. All
- We laugh and laugh. Then cry and cry- Then feebler laugh, Then die. Cry
- Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has. Death
- To my mind that literature is best and most enduring which is characterized by a noble simplicity. Best
- Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, and over these ideals they dispute-but they all worship money. All
- Astonishing things can be done with the human memory if you will devote it faithfully to one particular line of business. Astonishing
- isn't so astonishing, the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things I can remember that aren't so. Astonishing
- Talking of patriotism, what humbug it is; it is a word which always commemorates a robbery. Always Commemorates
- The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. Century
- The Moral Sense teaches us what is right, and how to avoid it-when unpopular. Avoid
- You must not pay a person a compliment, and then straightway follow it with a criticism. Compliment
- You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft. Comfortable
- To forget pain is to be painless; to forget care is to be rid of it; to go abroad is to accomplish both. Abroad
- To go abroad has something of the same sense that death brings. I am no longer of ye-what ye say of me is now of… Abroad
- The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes we had brought from the wilds of America. They… America
- A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will… Any
- By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfect man. Blend
- So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment. Became
- I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshold of age; in 1977 I shall be… Activities
- ...the person that had took a bull by the tail once had learnt sixty or seventy times as much as a person that hadn't, and… Always Going