All Mark Twain Quotes
- The true charm of pedestrianism does not lie in the walking, or in the scenery, but in the talking. The walking is good to time… Active
- Rise early. It is the early bird that catches the worm. Don't be fooled by this absurd law; I once knew a man who tried… Absurd
- Wisdom teaches us that none but birds should go out early, and that not even birds should do it unless they are out of worms. Bird
- Next you'd see a raft sliding by, away off yonder, and maybe a galoot on it chopping. . . you'd see the ax flash and… All
- A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial. Applauded
- Next to possessing genius one's self is the power of appreciating it in others. Appreciate
- Humor is man's greatest blessing. Blessing
- I am trying to get the hang of this new fangled writing machine, but I am not making a shining success of it. However, this… Acquire
- The master minds of all nations, in all ages, have sprung in affluent multitude from the mass of the nations, and from the mass of… Affluent
- By "trampling upon the helpless abroad" with unchecked surveillance, Americans have learned, "by a natural process, to endure with apathy the like at home." Abroad
- Adam was not alone in the Garden of Eden, however, and does not deserve all the credit; much is due to Eve, the first woman,… Adam
- Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass… Abide
- We Americans are the most lavish and showiest and most luxury loving people on the earth; and at our masthead we fly one true and… Americans
- Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born -a hundred million years -and I have suffered more… Absence
- That reminds me to remark, in passing, that the very first official thing I did, in my administration-and it was on the first day of… Administration
- She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot Inspiration
- Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government… Afford
- If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people Any
- Always tell the truth; then you don't have to remember anything Always Tell
- All our acts, reasoned and unreasoned, are selfish Acts
- Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness Art
- We do not get ice-cream every where, and so, when we do, we are apt to dissipate to excess. Apt
- A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs increase. Angel
- When whole races and peoples conspire to propagate gigantic mute lies in the interest of tyrannies and shams, why should we care anything about the… Care
- Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish… Been