All Mark Twain Quotes
- Very well, then, where do we arrive? Where do we arrive with our respect, our homage, our filial affection? At Adam! At Adam, every time.… Adam
- Jesus died to save men - a small thing for an immortal to do - and didn't save many, anyway. But if he had been… Act
- You can never find a Christian who has acquired this valuable knowledge, this saving knowledge, by any process but the everlasting and all-sufficient 'people say.' Acquired
- The Church has opposed every innovation and discovery from the day of Galileo down to our own time, when the use of anesthetics in childbirth… Anesthetics
- [The Bible is] a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology. Bible
- Sacred cows make the best hamburger. Best
- We consider that any man who can fiddle all through one of those Virginia Reels without losing his grip may be depended upon in any… All
- The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco. Coldest
- There is nothing so annoying as a good example!! Annoying
- We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there. Careful
- There will never be a "perfect" time to quit smoking. A time when you don't have any distractions or stress... If you had started today… Ago
- I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55. Ass
- Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness. Arrival
- We could use up two Eternities in learning all that is to be learned about our own world and the thousands of nations that have… All
- Men write many fine and plausible arguments in support of monarchy, but the fact remains that where every man has a voice, brutal laws are… Argument
- It is a dear and lovely disposition, and a most valuable one, that can brush away indignities and discourtesies and seek and find the pleasanter… Brush
- That optimist of yours is always ready to turn hell's backyard into a play-ground. Always Ready
- ...fry me an optimist for breakfast. Breakfast
- The pulpit and the optimist are always talking about the human race's steady march toward ultimate perfection. As usual, they leave out the statistics. It… Always Talking
- Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled. Day