The bus scares me. Way too many gross people on the bus. Sixty-five people on the bus and I was the last… — Kathleen Madigan Bus Copy Share Image
I never have goals or dreams. My sister says it's pathetic and lazy, but I had a goal, to tell jokes to… — Kathleen Madigan Bills Copy Share Image
I would like to be an FBI profiler. I'm fascinated with psychology, but I wouldn't want to deal with people and their… — Kathleen Madigan Afar Copy Share Image
Some people are mean, and when you look at their page, they only write mean things, but I have a great time… — Kathleen Madigan Great times Copy Share Image
Kids? It's like living with homeless people. They're cute but they just chase you around all day long going, 'Can I have… — Kathleen Madigan Children Copy Share Image
I always give homeless people money, and my friends yell at me, 'He's only going to buy more alcohol and cigarettes.' And… — Kathleen Madigan Alcohol Copy Share Image
I don't have a computer. I'm going to wait until that whole fad is over. I was suckered in on the Pet… — Kathleen Madigan Computer Copy Share Image
I don't really write jokes. I wait for stuff to happen in life, and then I tell it on stage. — Kathleen Madigan Happens Copy Share Image
I bowled for two years in college, because I was drunk and needed shoes. — Kathleen Madigan Bowling Copy Share Image
