Well, audiences will laugh at a lot of things that comedians won't. — Jim Norton Comedians Copy Share Image
My whole existence is spent just trying to not shove bad food in my fat face. It's like a constant struggle. I'll… — Jim Norton Bad food Copy Share Image
You know, a comedian's comedian is just that - it's a guy who's original and funny and can make comics laugh. — Jim Norton Comedian Copy Share Image
No matter how many books I've sold, nothing can correct the fact I look like Alfred Hitchcock from the side. — Jim Norton Alfred hitchcock Copy Share Image
You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living. — Jim Norton Bags Copy Share Image
Two men spit in their hands, help each other out, then laugh about it later. Just to be silly. — Jim Norton Being silly Copy Share Image
I love everything about Boston. The women are phenomenal, they're all dirty. It's just a really great place to do comedy. — Jim Norton Great Copy Share Image
Regular people are the problem. It's not the government, it's not the invasive Big Brother, it's the fact that we're a nation… — Jim Norton Cybersecurity Copy Share Image
Comics who consider themselves 'mavericks' or think the crowd doesn't get them are normally lousy comics. — Jim Norton Comics Copy Share Image
While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window. — Jim Norton Cocktails Copy Share Image
People are too worried a lot of times what other people in the audience are going to think about them, so they… — Jim Norton Audience Copy Share Image
The media is a very necessary thing in our country to keep people honest. — Jim Norton Country Copy Share Image
Everyone has a reason why their particular sacred cow is the sacred cow to be honored. — Jim Norton Cow Copy Share Image
From now on, anyone raped at Penn State should just tell Joe Paterno's statue. It couldn't help you any less than the… — Jim Norton Helping Copy Share Image
It's really the old question: Does art inspire life or does life inspire art? Maybe it's a combination of both. But Trump… — Jim Norton Art Copy Share Image
It just seems like right now we’re in a place where people are being witch-hunted for expressing an opinion. Even if it’s… — Jim Norton Care Copy Share Image
Here's the rule of thumb: When the entire family looks like the unibomber, they're against gay marriage. — Jim Norton Family Copy Share Image
I got really lucky that at age 12, I knew I just wanted to be a dancing monkey in front of people… — Jim Norton Age Copy Share Image
I know that I have a good career and I'm really busy, but there's always that part of my mind that's like,… — Jim Norton Alive Copy Share Image
I think people like to label everything. I just think it's comfortable. — Jim Norton Comfortable Copy Share Image
