Best Groucho Marx Qoutes
- Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world? Woman: Really? Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets… Beautiful
- Do you mind if I don't smoke? Funny
- I'll teach you to kick me...' You don't need to teach me--I already know how! Already Know
- While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery. Buy
- The only real laughter comes from despair. Despair
- She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me. Funny
- Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet! Crazy
- Would you mind getting off that fly paper and giving the flies a chance?" "Ahhh, you can't trick me! Flies don't read papers! Ahhh
- I don't know. When I was born there was a nurse taking care of me." "What's the matter? Couldn't the nurse take care of herself?"… Born
- Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. Door
- Hello, I must be going. Hello
- I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you. Been
- You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff. Funny
- Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I… Came
- All geniuses die young. All
- I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's… Attraction
- John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down… All
- Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight… Crowd
- Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor. Air
- With the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon. Agree
- Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances. (Either that, or my luck's terrible.) Advances
- My plans are still in embryo, a town on the edge of wishful thinking. Edge
- Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind. All
- I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come home." Groucho Marx was never… Better
- Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. Each
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