All Eoin Colfer Quotes
- ...Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make. Apron
- I don't like lollipops. Artemis
- Trust me. I'm a genius. Genius
- Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know. Advice
- What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf? Barbecue
- Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl Artemis
- If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees. Dwarf
- I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared. Anyone
- That was all he said, except for "Aaaeerrgghhh." Which is not really a word. But the reason that he screamed "Aaaeerrgghhh" was that Franco had… All
- I'm LEP. A captain. No rent-a-cop gnome is going to stand in the way of my orders. Captain
- She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees. -Artemis Fowl Artemis
- Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight. Always Wanted
- You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you. Imagination
- I'm not threatening you. I'm just informing you of police procedure. If you continue to obstruct me, I remove the obstruction, in this case you,… Case
- I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember? Captain
- If Koboi defeats and presumably murders us both then you can consider the debt null and void. Both
- Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on. Accept
- A pity to survive night flights over St. Georges Channel only to crack my skull falling from a ladder. Channel
- Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss? Admiration
- Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB. Foaly: The EIB? Holly: (smirking) Everyone in… Anyone