Ellen DeGeneres

Now we have hands-free phones, so you can focus on the thing you're really supposed to be doing. Chances are, if you…

— Ellen DeGeneres

Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny…

— Ellen DeGeneres

I like to try new things because I get bored so easily.

— Ellen DeGeneres

I get to do stand-up every single day. I love that live energy exchange between the audience and myself, and to get…

— Ellen DeGeneres

I talked to Beyonce and she wants to learn how to speak Arabic and she wants to jump out of an airplane.…

— Ellen DeGeneres

I'd like to be more patient! I just want everything now. I've tried to meditate, but it's really hard for me to…

— Ellen DeGeneres

We focus so much on our differences, and that is creating, I think, a lot of chaos and negativity and bullying in…

— Ellen DeGeneres

I was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position. My chakras were all aligned. My mind is cleared…

— Ellen DeGeneres

I didn't see deep emotion from my parents. It was all very polite and very surface. I never knew how anybody was…

— Ellen DeGeneres

“We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter.”

— Ellen DeGeneres

Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.

— Ellen DeGeneres

I had a really tough time for a few years. My show was gone. My phone wasn't ringing. There wasn't one job…

— Ellen DeGeneres

Asking who's the 'man' and who's the 'woman' in a same-sex relationship is like asking which chopstick is the fork.

— Ellen DeGeneres

“I personally like being unique. I like being my own person with my own style and my own opinion and my own…

— Ellen DeGeneres

Procrastinate now, don't put it off.

— Ellen DeGeneres

While I was doing stand-up, I thought I knew for sure that success meant getting everyone to like me. So I became…

— Ellen DeGeneres

I think the hard thing about this job [stand-up] I mean, I think this part is great but that the traveling is…

— Ellen DeGeneres

Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up…

— Ellen DeGeneres

I personally chose to go vegan because I educated myself on factory farming and cruelty to animals, and I suddenly realized that…

— Ellen DeGeneres

Have you ever thought about toothpaste? Ellen has! And she makes a point about all of the types of toothpaste that Colgate…

— Ellen DeGeneres

We're told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really,…

— Ellen DeGeneres

Normally, I try not to pay attention to my haters, but this time I'd like to talk about it, because my haters…

— Ellen DeGeneres

I put a basketball in front of George Clooney's door and sprayed it with supermodel perfume to lure him out.

— Ellen DeGeneres

Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when they are wearing dark glasses and have streamers in their…

— Ellen DeGeneres

The stand up, everything was accidental. I never grew up and was the class clown and had to get the attention. It…

— Ellen DeGeneres