Daniel Handler Quotes

495 quotes in 5123 categories

• One's home is like a delicious piece of pie you order in a restaurant on a country road one cozy evening - the best piece…
• The Long Goodbye' is one book I like to read over and over again, and it was an enormous inspiration for 'All The Wrong Questions'.
• I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone.
• Labor Day is a holiday honoring those who work for a living. Laborious Day is a lesser known holiday honoring those who cannot stop talking…
• One wanders through life as if wandering through a field in the dark of night, wearing a blindfold and very heavy shoes, with a poisonous…
• This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.
• The way sadness works is one of the strange riddles of the world. If you are stricken with a great sadness, you may feel as…
• You might find it difficult to see anything but your own sadness, the way smoke can cover a landscape so that all anyone can see…
• I like to give people novels I think they would like, on no particular occasion - just when we're in a bookstore together. I like…
• The real Santa Claus is at the mall.
• Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make - bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake - if you make even…
• How wrong to think I was anyone else, like thinking grass stains make you a beautiful view, like getting kissed makes you kissable, like feeling…
• They say that when you’re really in love, the world becomes gossamer and gorgeous, but in my experience the world gets grimy, and the love…
• Make sure you have your own mask on, before helping others with theirs.
• The miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done.
• Just about everybody has written a first novel that they throw away before writing their actual first novel.
• There are secrets everywhere. I think everyone's parents have secrets. You just have to know where to look for them.
• I was too jitterbuggy happy to sleep, and the whole day kept playing in my brain's little screening room.
• A newspaper, as I'm sure you know, is a collection of supposedly true stories written down by writers who either saw them happen or talked…
• In general, of course, a stranger who tries to get you into an automobile is anything but noble, and in general a person who quotes…

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