"Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with……" — Anthony Jeselnik
"Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me."
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Anthony Jeselnik
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30 Quotes by Anthony Jeselnik
Anthony Jeselnik has 30 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I've got a long history of suicid in my family; the good news is it skips a generation, so, if…
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This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That's it.…
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My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend.
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Mike Tyson, what can I say about you that hasn’t already been the title of a Richard Pryor album?
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Charlie Sheen called his boss on 'Two and a Half Men' a 'Jew ki**' and expected to go back to work.…
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God, that Anthony Jeselnik Show sounds really funny.
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My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to…
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Katey Sagal, you are an incredible actress. You worked on ‘Married with Children,’ the show that changed comedy, ‘Sons of…
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You know how everybody has that one weird creepy uncle? Well, Seth Green looks like he got raped by all…
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Ellen Barkin, your upcoming TV show ‘The New Normal’ premiers on September 11th. September 11th, that sounds about right. Every…
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Wayne Brady, I don’t understand why people keep joking that you’re not black. Wayne Brady, you are BLACK. After all,…
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The world is full of horrible things...
See all 30 quotes by Anthony Jeselnik »
More Accidentally Quotes
This quote is filed under Accidentally Quotes,
one of 262 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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In 1945 J.A. Ratcliffe ... suggested that I [join his group at Cavendish Laboratory, Cambridge] to start an investigation of…
— Martin Ryle
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The true genius is a mind of large general powers, accidentally determined to some particular direction.
— Samuel Johnson
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There's more to be learned here [St. Andrews] about course design than anywhere. Collection bunkers, false fronts, bump shots. The…
— Jack Nicklaus
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Viktor Petrenko and I met at a competition, where I beat him completely accidentally. I felt so embarrassed in front…
— Evgeni Plushenko
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If I hurt someone, if I were to accidentally poke someone's eye out, I would laugh. And then I'd say,…
— Rachel McAdams
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For exactly the same reason, it is sometimes satisfying to cut yourself and bleed. On those gray [sic] days where…
— Augusten Burroughs
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Would it not be strange if a universe without purpose accidentally created humans who are so obsessed with purpose?
— John Templeton
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Ever heard the story about a cat that accidentally caught a mouse in his sleep? Me neither
— Mike Murdock
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Whether deliberately, unconsciously or accidentally, she seems to have composed her own life so that its fitful, rudderless, and self-doubting…
— Carolyn Heilbrun
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For me songwriting is very...it's almost like an accident. 'Oh I accidentally wrote about that.' I sit down with the…
— Unknown Author
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When I was 23, 24, I used to have a really bad runny nose, mucus, tons of acne, reddishness all…
— Woody Harrelson
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I started in radio, again accidentally. I wasn't looking for this kind of work at all.
— Hector Elizondo
See all 262 Accidentally Quotes »