There are plenty of problems in the world, and doubtless climate change - or whatever the currently voguish phrase for it all… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Masochists are people that have pleasure confused with pain. In a world that has television confused with entertainment, doritoes confused with food,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Vietnamese Hoa were merchants and manufacturers. They were very successful and thus, according to the logic of Marxism, responsible for society's… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The great apologist has to have lived large and wild. If he's going to kiss the world's boo-boos and make up, he'd… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Jack Abramoff is the world's best lobbyist - for the Federal Penitentiary System. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Greatest generation came through some stuff that we can't even imagine - the Depression, World War I - and all they wanted… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Call a man 'ignorant,' and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In the Third World, honk your horn only under the following circumstances: 1. When anything blocks the road. 2. When anything doesn't.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
We've come into the world of '1984,' but it turns out to be '1984'-Lite. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I spent almost 25 years as a foreign correspondent, and the world's primary problem is poverty. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Violence is interesting. This is a great obstacle to world peace and also to more thoughtful television programming. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Apparently Bolivia is the key source of lithium in the world. So we're gonna trade the Saudis for the Bolivians. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There is a fine line in the Third World between half a dozen customs officials waiting for you to offer them a… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
.......the poor of the world cannot be made rich by redistribution of wealth. Poverty can't be eliminated by punishing people who've escaped… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The U.S. Constitution is less than a quarter the length of the owner's manual for a 1998 Toyota Camry, and yet it… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A girl who is really pretty - whether she wraps herself in an abayah, a nun's habit, or the front hall rug… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
