There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
'Don't you worry, and don't you hurry.' I know that phrase by heart, and if all other music should perish out of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I am a democrat only on principle, not by instinct, nobody is that. Doubtless some people say they are, but this world… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I have carried a revolver; lots of us do, but they are the most innocent things in the world. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Ours is a terrible religion. The fleets of the world could swim in spacious comfort in the innocent blood it has spilt. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I purpose publishing these Letters here in the world before I return to you. Two editions. One, unedited, for Bible readers and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh; and I think that I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Was it my conspicuousness that distressed me? Not at all. It was merely that I was not beautifully conspicuous but uglily conspicuous… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditchdigging. It is the insanest of all recreations. The inventor… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
And always we had wars, and more wars, and still other wars - all over Europe, all over the world. "Sometimes in… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes "my dear,"… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It liberates the vandal to travel-you never saw a bigoted, opinionated, stubborn, narrow-minded, self-conceited, almighty mean man in your life but he… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is my heart-warmed and world-embracing Christmas hope and aspiration that all of us, the high, the low, the rich, the poor,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, politics or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If the statistics are right, the Jews constitute but one percent of the human race. It suggests a nebulous dim puff of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It was a splendid population - for all the slow, sleepy, sluggish-brained sloths stayed at home - you never find that sort… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
This is a Christian country. Why, so is hell. Inasmuch as Strait is the way and narrow is the gate, and few… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I am persuaded that the world has been tricked into adopting some false and most pernicious notions about consistency - and to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Adam and Eve entered the world naked and unashamed - naked and pure-minded. And no descendant of theirs has ever entered it… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world; it tones a body up and keeps him human… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
One of the proofs of the immortality of the soul is that myriads have believed it. They also believed the world was… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know have gone to a better world, I am moved to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
To be vested with enormous authority is a fine thing; but to have the on-looking world consent to it is finer. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When the world is made to be idiot-proof, the world will become overpopulated with idiots. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Now he found out a new thing--namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
By common consent of all the nations and all the ages the most valuable thing in this world is the homage of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The slowness of one section of the world about adopting the valuable ideas of another section of it is a curious thing… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If the world ends, I'll just head on down to Kentucky because they're always 20 years behind. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than any in the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it's that they know so many things that just aren't… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The blunting effects of slavery upon the slaveholder's moral perceptions are known and conceded the world over; and a priveleged class, an… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
God could create the world in six days because he didn't have to make it compatible with the previous version. Go to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
