Witty Quotes · Page 88

Hope you're not allergic to nuts. Cause I'm gonna kick yours up into your throat.

— Nikhil Saluja

My road to success is blocked by a huge rocks obstacle with a big sign that says 'Twitter.com'

— Nikhil Saluja

This might come as a surprise to you, but your boobs go inside your shirt.

— Anonymous

Snoring is your body's way of telling everyone not to disturb me asshole can't you see we are sleeping.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sex with your future wife - Mutual trust

— Nikhil Saluja

To be witty is not enough. One must possess sufficient wit to avoid having too much of it.

— Andre Maurois

You can't just be crass without being witty. Angry crass is horrible.

— Ali Wong

Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure.

— William Saroyan

This isn't an office-It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

— Nikhil Saluja

It's so fucking sexist to assume that women have vaginas.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, That which makes the world revolve:

— Nikhil Saluja

Beauty without wit offers nothing but the enjoyment of its material charms, whilst witty ugliness captivates by the charms of the mind,…

— Giacomo Casanova

I think it would be a good idea.

— Mahatma Gandhi

It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.

— Paul Newman

I wouldn't even dare read the Torah, let alone attempt a witty observation on the Torah.

— Charles Grodin

Ladies don't ask for much. They just want shoes, diamonds, less work, free money & a perfect man.

— Nikhil Saluja

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

— Woody Allen

I appreciate my my sleep In sleep my conversation is witty My home is dusted My office work is up to date…

— Nikki Giovanni

I suppose no one is as handsome or as beautiful as he or she wishes, or as brilliant in school or as…

— Jeffrey R. Holland

“Carla was wearing a No Fear sweatshirt. You are too old, Amy wanted to tell her, for legible clothing.”

— Jincy Willett

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he…

— George Carlin

MARRIAGE, A tradition which would suffer considerably if men had to pay the minister the same fee they will eventually have to…

— Nikhil Saluja

“This sentence consists of eleven words, twenty-three syllables and seventy-four letters.”

— Charles Pearson

Napkin? I have two, They're called sleeves.

— Nikhil Saluja

Philosopher: A masochistic fool who will be considered a genius once dead.

— Nikhil Saluja