Witty Quotes · Page 80

Turning 32 years old is significant, because at 32 you can sleep with someone half your age and not go to jail

— Anonymous

If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

— Nikhil Saluja

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

— Demetri Martin

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.

— Sacha Guitry

Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

— Woody Allen

Dude, are my eyes seeing what my brain is telling my eyes that they're seeing?

— James Roday

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no…

— Anonymous

The next time you find yourself in an argument, rather than defend your position, see if you can see the other point…

— Richard Carlson

LOVE, The only virtue that can be divided endlessly and still not be diminished;

— Nikhil Saluja

“You've known him how long?" Malcolm asked. "Since he was a small boy. I firs noticed him when he slipped into Master…

— John Flanagan

Years ago someone wrote [about me]: 'She characterizes Molly Weasley as a mother who is only at home looking after the children.'…

— J. K. Rowling

If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

— Woody Allen

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa: Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, Man's grand delusion that one woman differs from another;

— Nikhil Saluja

“Fail soon so that you can succeed sooner.”

— Amit Kalantri

Saying you are right when youre wrong only gives you the right to be wrong

— Superman

“There was nothing like a stolen moment of happiness to remind you how much was missing.”

— Janus Lucky

I'm no prude. I like a witty innuendo, too.

— Agnes Moorehead

“Well, with that filly in my line of vision blushing like a virgin, something in me was bound to stand at attention.…

— A.G. Starling

He grinned. “Busted. I’m a monster. Jev is my deceptively harmless — and shockingly handsome — alter ego.” “And I’m on top…

— Becca Fitzpatrick

I never pay my attention. he's going to die poor.

— Nikhil Saluja

A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should…

— Milton Berle

I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

— Nikhil Saluja

Ack!" I said. Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that's me.

— Jim Butcher

For all my haters, I just want you to know that there's no medicine for insecurities so better commit suicide!

— Nikhil Saluja