I write these shows one joke at a time. There's no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories,… — Ron White Copy Share Image
I'm definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won't. Then three years later I will finally try it… — Ron White Copy Share Image
People, when they go on stage, tend to be animated and try to force things out instead of relaxing and bringing it… — Ron White Copy Share Image
I'm not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If… — Ron White Copy Share Image
Any time someone achieves success before they've earned it, it always comes back to haunt them. — Ron White Copy Share Image
I BELIEVE THAT IF LIFE GIVES U LEMONS U SHOULD MAKE A LEMONADE...AND TRY TO FIND SOMEONE WHOSE LIFE HAS GIVEN THEM VODKA,AND JUST… — RON WHITE Copy Share Image
I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm… — Ron White Copy Share Image
When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable - onstage, talking, making 'em laugh… — Ron White Copy Share Image
There's no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don't exist. — Ron White Copy Share Image
I don't like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that's the stuff that made… — Ron White Copy Share Image
Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin. — Ron White Copy Share Image
I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever - plumbers and drywall hangers. — Ron White Copy Share Image
All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could… — Ron White Copy Share Image
In Texas, we have the death penalty, and we use it. That's right. If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill… — Ron White Copy Share Image
