Television Quotes by Ron White

Any time someone achieves success before they've earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.

— Ron White

Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.

— Ron White

I BELIEVE THAT IF LIFE GIVES U LEMONS U SHOULD MAKE A LEMONADE...AND TRY TO FIND SOMEONE WHOSE LIFE HAS GIVEN THEM VODKA,AND JUST…

— RON WHITE

I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm…

— Ron White

When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable - onstage, talking, making 'em laugh…

— Ron White

I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!

— Ron White

There's no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don't exist.

— Ron White

I don't like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that's the stuff that made…

— Ron White

Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.

— Ron White

I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever - plumbers and drywall hangers.

— Ron White

All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could…

— Ron White

In Texas, we have the death penalty, and we use it. That's right. If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill…

— Ron White

I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars.

— Ron White

I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He's probably the best comedian…

— Ron White

I don't do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil's show. He's a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn't give me any advice.…

— Ron White