If science exterminates a disease which has been working for God, it is God that gets the credit and all the pulpits… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is only one expert who is qualified to examine the souls and the life of a people and make a valuable… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Bible is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is believed by everyone that when he was in heaven he was stern, hard, resentful, jealous and cruel, but that when… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. Therefore, in the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Loyalty is a word which has worked vast harm; for it has been made to trick men into being "loyal" to a… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
...one of the first achievements of the legislature was to institute a ten-thousand-dollar agricultural fair to show off forty dollars' worth of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Solomon, who was one of the Deity's favorites, had a copulation cabinet composed of seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. To… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It takes a thousand men to invent a telegraph, or a steam engine, or a phonograph, or a photograph, or a telephone… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Once I talked to the inmates of an insane asylum in Hartford. I have talked to idiots a thousand times, but only… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
As by the fires of experience, so by commission of crime you learn real morals. Commit all crimes, familiarize yourself with all… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
