I can't be talking to a tree. If I was talking to a tree I'd be mad, and I'm not mad, so… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
It’s quite easy to accidentally overhear people talking downstairs if you hold an upturned glass to the floorboards and accidentally put your… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
In my early teens, I read every bound volume of the magazine Punch. Every writer of any distinction in the English language,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Take it from me, whenever you see a bunch of buggers puttering around talking about truth and beauty and the best way… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
You can't make people happy by law. If you said to a bunch of average people two hundred years ago "Would you… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
I can no longer type, so I use TalkingPoint and Dragon Dictate. It's a speech-to-text program, and there's an add-on for talking… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Of course I'm sane, when trees start talking to me, I don't talk back. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Little fussy Otto, in his red-lined black opera cloak with pockets for all his gear, his shiny black shoes, his carefully cut… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
For the first time in her life Granny wondered whether there might be something important in all these books people were setting… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“This one’s mental.’ ‘Eccentric.’ ‘What’s the difference?’ ‘A bag of cash.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I am as… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes." "One of… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Magrat wondered what it was like, spending your whole life doing something you didn’t want to do. Like being dead, she considered, only worse,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There were more old people. The world was full of them,' said the wizard. 'Yes, I know. And now it's full of young people.… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Hobson was big and heavyset, but not exactly fat; he was probably what you’d get if you shaved a bear.” — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“There is a night that never comes to an end.... The clock of the world turns under its own shadow. Midnight is a moving… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
