English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Written things are not for speech; their form is literary; they are stiff, inflexible, and will not lend themselves to happy and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The best and most telling speech is not the actual impromptu one but the counterfeit of it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus and upset the convictions and debauch the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Water is an individual, an animal, and is alive, remove the hydrogen and it is an animal and is alive; the remaining… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. Overnight success is a fallacy. It is preceded by… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you want me to give you a two-hour presentation, I am ready today. If you want only a five-minute speech, it… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Facts, or what a man believes to be facts, are always delightful - Get your facts first, and - then you can… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“I've just come to my room, Livy darling, I guess this was the memorable night of my life. By George, I never… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Whenever the human race assembles to a number exceeding four, it cannot stand free speech. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
India is, the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
