Did you really think I wouldn't recognize my college futon, with its trademark absence of sex stains? — LIZ Copy Share Image
Do you need sex advice? Here's a tip. Sometimes a lady likes to leave her blazer on. — LIZ Copy Share Image
I want to roll my eyes right now, but the doctor says that if I keep doing it, my ocular muscles might spasm and… — LIZ Copy Share Image
My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico. — LIZ Copy Share Image
If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, I'd prefer a meat one. — LIZ Copy Share Image
I grew up around a lot of boys - all my friends on my street were boys, so I was the only girl for… — LIZ Copy Share Image
Why do you sound surprised? I love America. Just because I think gay dudes should be allowed to adopt kids and we should all… — LIZ Copy Share Image
Just need to rave for a moment about the scrubbing cleanser...I have only ever found one (chemical filled) product that REALLY cleans my shower/tub,… — LIZ Copy Share Image
Trust is like a mirror u can break it and put it back together but no matter what u will always see ur mistakes… — Liz Copy Share Image
Who hasn't made mistakes? I once french kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very… — LIZ Copy Share Image
There ain't no party like a Liz Lemon party 'cause a Liz Lemon party is mandatory! — LIZ Copy Share Image
