Sarcastic Quotes by Johnny Carson

It's silly to have as one's sole object in life just making money, accumulating wealth. I work because I enjoy what I'm doing, and…

— Johnny Carson

The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.

— Johnny Carson

I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over.

— Johnny Carson

From the time I was a little kid, I was always shy. Performing was when I was outgoing. So I guess I am a…

— Johnny Carson

I'm often asked, "What is your favorite moment during the 30 years you hosted [The Tonight Show]?" I really don't have just one. The…

— Johnny Carson

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

— Johnny Carson

Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.

— Johnny Carson

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.

— Johnny Carson

Ronald Reagan just signed the new tax law. But I think he was in Hollywood too long. He signed it, 'Best wishes, Ronald Reagan.'

— Johnny Carson

The good news is that the president gets another chance. The bad news is that he'll be two weeks older.

— Johnny Carson

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

— Johnny Carson

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

— Johnny Carson