I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
Did you know Richard Nixon is the only president whose formal portrait was painted by a police sketch artist? — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
As for being sociable, I hate the phoniness in the showbiz world. I know this will be taken wrong, but I don't… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
As you all know by now, this is the 51st annual Academy Awards. Two hours of sparkling entertainment spread out over a… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
Do you know my dream? I really want to become an aluminum-siding salesman. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
There's only one critic whose opinion I really value, in the final analysis: Johnny Carson. I have never needed any entourage standing… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
I know a guy who gave up smoking cigarettes, consuming, sex, and wealthy meals. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
Entertainment is like any other major industry; it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
It's silly to have as one's sole object in life just making money, accumulating wealth. I work because I enjoy what I'm doing, and… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
From the time I was a little kid, I was always shy. Performing was when I was outgoing. So I guess I am a… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
I'm often asked, "What is your favorite moment during the 30 years you hosted [The Tonight Show]?" I really don't have just one. The… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
Ronald Reagan just signed the new tax law. But I think he was in Hollywood too long. He signed it, 'Best wishes, Ronald Reagan.' — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
The good news is that the president gets another chance. The bad news is that he'll be two weeks older. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image