Cookbooks bear the same relation to real books that microwave food bears to your grandmother?s. — Andrei Codrescu Copy Share Image
I'm a polite person. I'll tell you excuse me and shut the f*ck up in the same sentence. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Arch turned and looked at Ian. The other man was fiddling with the neckline of his shirt. “You're just jealous, Ian, and… — Rose Wynters Copy Share Image
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Beth: Are you stalking me now? Nick: No, I'm just running into you in a premidetated manner — When In Rome - Beth Copy Share Image
That's enough of that," Jesse said. Next thing I knew, he'd scooped me up. Only instead of carrying me to my bed… — Meg Cabot Copy Share Image
“You are quite possibly the least smooth guy I know,” she mumbled. “You can’t even put your arm around me without tripping… — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
A relationship is meant for two persons only. Unfortunately some bitches don't know how to count — Avalon Copy Share Image
Krzhizhanovsky wanted to perform imaginary experiments with the nature of time and space. Outside, in the streets, the Communist state was busy… — Adam Thirlwell Copy Share Image
If I ever wanted to commit suicide, I'd definitely jump from your ego level to your IQ level — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Do unto yourself as your Neighbours do unto Themselves and look Pleasant. — George Ade Copy Share Image
If you bring the balonga..,believe ima bring the goddamn beef. Ima bring the whole cow. — JORdinary_[Ws Copy Share Image
Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions. — Frank Lloyd Wright Copy Share Image
“His chief form of entertainment was reading. The last moments he was in a cabin were usually spent scanning bookshelves and nightstands.… — Michael Finkel Copy Share Image
They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me. — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
Turning off the lights downstairs and running upstairs quickly so no one kills you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“It feels good to shoot your veins full of heroin too, but that doesn’t mean you should go out and become a… — Noelle Blakely Copy Share Image
Few authors are so interesting as their work - they generally reserve their wit or trenchant sarcasm for their books. — Alec-Tweedie Copy Share Image
“I throw on some sweatpants and tell everyone I want a 'real' coffee which sounds more believable than telling them I'm going… — Juno Dawson Copy Share Image
