“Q: Why does Santa like to work in the garden? A: Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!” — Uncle Amon Copy Share Image
Unwisely, Santa offered a teddy bear to James, unaware he had been mauled by a grizzly earlier this year. — Tim Burton Copy Share Image
What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite make it. — Bart Simpson Copy Share Image
Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are a few YouTube clips of me singing at The King's Head in Santa Monica, so you can see how bad… — Vinnie Jones Copy Share Image
I be getting green so mean, Bruce Banner. Gift of flow and presence, yeah, Im the new santa. — XV Copy Share Image
They err who thinks Santa Claus comes down through the chimney; he really enters through the heart. — Mrs Paul M Ell Copy Share Image
Here comes Santa Claus! Here comes Santa Claus! Right down Santa Claus Lane! — Gene Autry Copy Share Image
Department store Santas are apparently being trained to lower childrens expectations about toys because of the recession. Yeah, its weird when you… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
You never realize how much your mother loves you till you explore the attic - and find every letter you ever sent… — Pam Brown Copy Share Image
You know, in a way, 'Dear Santa Claus' is rather stuffy... Perhaps something a little more intimate would be better... Something just… — Charles M. Schulz Copy Share Image
We conclude that, simultaneously with the organization of the colleges, there should be at Santa Cruz an organization by disciplines, whose units… — Abraham Robinson Copy Share Image
“Of course, my Christmas is (so much more) gorgeous and romantic (than Germany's)!! And unlike the rest of the world, we leave… — Hidekaz Himaruya Copy Share Image
I think we have to believe in things we don't see. That's really important for all of us, whether it's your religion… — James Caan Copy Share Image
You just gotta tell her, man,’ I said. ‘You just gotta say, “Angela, I really like you, but there’s something you need… — John Green Copy Share Image
Growing up, Santa Claus would cover the presents with a white blanket, so when we'd wake up Christmas morning, we had to… — Martina McBride Copy Share Image
Hot, dry katabatic winds, like the south foehn in Europe, the sharav in the Middle East, and the Santa Ana of Southern… — Tim Cahill Copy Share Image
How is Christmas regarded today? The legend of Santa Claus, the Christmas tree, the decorations of tinsel and mistletoe, and the giving… — Howard W. Hunter Copy Share Image
I crossed paths with a horse that happened to change my life. That horse is Game On Dude, and what a horse!… — Chantal Sutherland Copy Share Image
A cynic is just a man who found out when he was about ten that there wasn't any Santa Claus, and he's… — James Gould Cozzens Copy Share Image
I am in communication with almost everybody I've done a story about. I have a fantasy that if I ever strike it… — Joshuah Bearman Copy Share Image
I'm not looking for anything more than any other guy. I like a good smile. Pretty eyes. She has to be active,… — Mitchel Musso Copy Share Image
It is curious that people tend to regard government as a quasi-divine, selfless, Santa Claus organization. Government was constructed neither for ability… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One day in '61, I was looking in the Santa Monica phone book for a number, and there it was: Stan Laurel,… — Dick Van Dyke Copy Share Image
I never saw a department store Santa as a kid. My mother was afraid to take me. — Terry Zwigoff Copy Share Image
The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. — John Andrew Holmes Copy Share Image
I got to play Santa, too. It's really important to play Santa, you know. — Judd Nelson Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
I'm from Santa Cruz in Northern California, and the 49ers were my dad and I's bonding time. — Marisa Miller Copy Share Image
BOY: Can I have a photo of you? GIRL: Why? BOY: So I can show Santa what I want for Christmas. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad and good. — Linda Sunshine Copy Share Image
I split my time between Santa Barbara and Aspen. I live on a pretty fast horse. — Kevin Costner Copy Share Image
Last year asked santa for the sexiest person on earth..woke up in a box — Tamika-leeigh Copy Share Image
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Dear Santa Claus, How have you been? Did you have a nice summer? -Sally — Charlie Brown Christmas Copy Share Image
Besides, the mhis that surrounded the compound could scramble anything from GPS to Santa Claus. — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
The reason santa is always so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live — Anomymus Copy Share Image
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
If SANTA CLAUS came down the chimney in a f**king jogging suit, you wouldn't even know it was him. — Wayne Coyne Copy Share Image
For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling. — Doug Larson Copy Share Image
