Dick Gregory

It's cool to be healthy.

— Dick Gregory

Fear and God do not occupy the same space.

— Dick Gregory

I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist.

— Dick Gregory

The world is fed by greed.

— Dick Gregory

Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.

— Dick Gregory

I am one of the funniest people on the planet.

— Dick Gregory

The free man is the man with no fears.

— Dick Gregory

Life isn't a race. It's a relay.

— Dick Gregory

Luck is opportunity meeting up with preparation. So you must prepare yourself to be lucky.

— Dick Gregory

...Pets are found to suffer from all the ailments known to the human...

— Dick Gregory

I won't say I'm out of condition now - but I even puff going downstairs.

— Dick Gregory

Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.

— Dick Gregory

When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It's not enough, but it helps.

— Dick Gregory

My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that's never been explained.

— Dick Gregory

The only person on the planet saying derogatory things about his woman is the black man.

— Dick Gregory

Race baiters and discriminators may go underground, but they never move out of town.

— Dick Gregory

Black conservatives have a right to exist, but why would I want to walk around with a swastika on my shirt after…

— Dick Gregory

“They told me there was very little racial prejudice in Hawaii. Like a woman is just a little bit pregnant.”

— Dick Gregory

I buy about $1,500 worth of papers every month. Not that I trust them. I'm looking for the crack in the fabric.

— Dick Gregory

If all you can do is judge a person by their appearance, because you don't have the spirit to judge someone from…

— Dick Gregory

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

— Dick Gregory

If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd have to bring out the…

— Dick Gregory

People with high blood pressure, diabetes - those are conditions brought about by life style. If you change the life style, those…

— Dick Gregory

Just being a Negro doesn't qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on…

— Dick Gregory

Let me tell you, never before in the history of this planet has anybody made the progress that African-Americans have made in…

— Dick Gregory

We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry, because we didn't think it was fair in the history books that…

— Dick Gregory

“Momma, a welfare cheater. A criminal who couldn't stand to se her kids go hungry, or grow up in slumbs and end…

— Dick Gregory

Revolution ain't nothing but an extent of evolution; Evolution is a fact of nature. So when old folks tell me that they…

— Dick Gregory

The only thing I like about St. Louis is it has the best zoo in America, in Forest Park. Washington University is…

— Dick Gregory

[A politician is] a person skilled in the art of compromise. Usually an elected official who has compromised to get nominated, compromised…

— Dick Gregory

Nature is not affected by finance. If someone offered you ten thousand dollars to let them touch your eyeball without blinking, you…

— Dick Gregory

...Humans were the only creatures in the world that ate their food cooked. You'd never find a Gorilla frying up some bananas…

— Dick Gregory

“And then the foreman told another boss to put me down in the furnace pit. "Nigger can take the heat better," he…

— Dick Gregory

My wife and I went to jail in Selma. The difference when I was back there recently? White folks? No. Black folks…

— Dick Gregory

At the very last moment, Nature would force you to blink your eye. Nature will protect her own.

— Dick Gregory

Poor is a state of mind you never grow out of, but being broke is just a temporary condition.

— Dick Gregory

You got to die of something because if you die of nothing, they won't pay your insurance.

— Dick Gregory

To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.

— Dick Gregory

Truth is the baby of the world. It never gets old.

— Dick Gregory

If democracy is such a good thing, let's have more of it.

— Dick Gregory