Dick Gregory

Audiences feel no hatred from me. Because I'm not bitter.

— Dick Gregory

When you look at Hitler and those thugs, you can put Walmart right next to them.

— Dick Gregory

If it wasn't for Abe Lincoln, I'd still be on the open market.

— Dick Gregory

I tell people, 'If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.'

— Dick Gregory

I used to get letters saying, 'I didn't know black children and white children were the same.'

— Dick Gregory

Laughter is the best way to release tensions and fears.

— Dick Gregory

Why are black folks singing Amazing Grace which is a song about a white slaver's conversion?

— Dick Gregory

There's a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.

— Dick Gregory

Every holiday on the calendar, I check in a hotel and fast - I don't eat, I don't drink, I don't talk.

— Dick Gregory

The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.

— Dick Gregory

And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while…

— Dick Gregory

America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don't misuse a household pet.

— Dick Gregory

Martin Luther King taught us all nonviolence. I was told to extend nonviolence to the mother and her calf.

— Dick Gregory

That's easy, to stand in a nightclub, where most of the people that come in, they came to see you.

— Dick Gregory

Because you make me laugh don't make you a comic. A comedian is a person who, that's how they make their living.

— Dick Gregory

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with…

— Dick Gregory

A friend of mine who works for naval intelligence said an aerial satellite revealed that 1.9 million attended the event in 1995.…

— Dick Gregory

Civil Rights: What black folks are given in the U.S. on the installment plan, as in civil-rights bills. Not to be confused…

— Dick Gregory

If I had to write down the most important people in the history of this planet, No.1 would be (abolitionist) John Brown.…

— Dick Gregory

In the United States, the Constitution is a health chart left by the Founding Fathers which shows whether or not the body…

— Dick Gregory

You hear entertainers all the time, saying, 'If I couldn't get paid for this, I'd do it for free.' When's the last…

— Dick Gregory

I went to Ethiopia, and it dawned on me that you can tell a starving, malnourished person because they've got a bloated…

— Dick Gregory

We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be…

— Dick Gregory

I believe young voters will either vote for Obama or not vote at all. So the problem is not Obama the problem…

— Dick Gregory

Love is very dangerous if you just have love and don't have the ability to be lovable.

— Dick Gregory

Eating liver out of a cow's body is like eating the filter out of a car.

— Dick Gregory

I wouldn't mind paying taxes... if I knew they were going to a friendly country

— Dick Gregory

Everything we do we should look at in terms of millions of people who can't afford it.

— Dick Gregory

The most difficult thing to get people to do is to accept the obvious.

— Dick Gregory

When I tune into my beautiful self, I get happiness. Everything in the universe belongs to me.

— Dick Gregory

America has the mightiest military on the planet, and they didn't get there with entertainers.

— Dick Gregory

Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother's milk.

— Dick Gregory

Once I realised the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.

— Dick Gregory

No being should be killed. No being should be unloved.

— Dick Gregory

I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.

— Dick Gregory

Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.

— Dick Gregory

What happens to Black Folks today, happens to White Folks tomorrow.

— Dick Gregory

Education means to bring out wisdom. Indoctrination means to push in knowledge.

— Dick Gregory

The only good thing about the good old days is they're gone.

— Dick Gregory

There is a limit on how much information you can keep bottled up.

— Dick Gregory