The reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“This Santa's beard was real, and so was his hair. He wasn't fucking around.” — David Levithan Copy Share Image
“Missing a nose. With these children Santa has to be careful not to ask, "And what would you like for Christmas?” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide. — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
“Only now have you lived long enough to know the child that you shall always remain.” — Martin I. Green Copy Share Image
Dolph Ziggler reminds me of Santa; everywhere he goes he brings an old bag with him. — Jerry Lawler Copy Share Image
“It's like pretending to be Santa and then stabbing someone with a candy cane!” — J.B. Stanley Copy Share Image
“My heart was pounding in my chest. I couldn't believe Rob didn't find it odd to meet Santa out there in the… — Willow Rose Copy Share Image
President Reagan rushed home from Santa Barbara vacation, from the Reagan ranch when the Korean jetliner was shot out of the air… — Kate Obenshain Copy Share Image
When I walk up the piazza of Santa Croce I feel as if it were not a Florentine nor an European church… — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
With big folks, either people think you look mean or it's more of a jolly Santa Claus, 'Oh, he's just a pudgy… — The Notorious B.I.G Copy Share Image
If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers it's gone, I think a good thing… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For me, Santa was white, and he was in Coca Cola commercials. You never saw a black Santa on TV and in… — Baron Davis Copy Share Image
“Why did he hesitate? He finally admitted to himself that he was like an American child who was almost completely certain about… — Orson Scott Card Copy Share Image
Santa was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks Santa why are you removing a wheel from your auto.… — Azgraybebly Josland Copy Share Image
Children are grateful when Santa Claus puts in their stockings gifts of toys or sweets. Could I not be grateful to Santa… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
... Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
There was a desert wind blowing that night. It was one of those hot dry Santa Anas that come down through the… — Raymond Chandler Copy Share Image
Empathising with the younger children on whom the same confidence trick was being imposed, I embarked on a crusade around the neighbourhood,… — Barbara Smoker Copy Share Image
You don't believe in God," I said to Stein. "God is a word banging around in the human nervous system. He exists… — Peter De Vries Copy Share Image
“Why is Santa an anagram for Satan? I mean, besides the fact that both have the same amounts of the same letters.… — Sam Logan Copy Share Image
In the far corner, a tenor began to sing, Zsadist's crystal-clear voice sailing up toward the warrior paintings on the ceiling far,… — J.R. Ward Copy Share Image
Santa Claus is anyone who loves another and seeks to make them happy; who gives himself by thought or word or deed… — Edwin Osgood Grover Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when Santa accidentally leaves the price tag on your present. — Eddy Sims Copy Share Image
I'm not a big fan of the tchotchkes. It always reminds me of a grandma's stuffy home with a million Santa dolls. — Jeremiah Brent Copy Share Image
I know I'm 38 but I insist that santa claus exists and he raped my mother when I was 9. — Thom Yorke Copy Share Image
I seriously doubt that the Santa police do an underwear check." -Cora — Sarah Dessen Copy Share Image
When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas! — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
“The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus by Amelia C. Houghton Yesterday's Classics Chapel Hill, North Carolina” — Amelia C. Houghton Copy Share Image
Santa was riding on a horse, He jumped the red light & a cop whistles' Santa lifts the tail of horse &… — Butterfly_Kisses Copy Share Image
One of the things I had a hard time getting used to when I came to California in '78 was Santa Claus… — Dennis Franz Copy Share Image
Can I have a picture of you? I need something to send to Santa to show him what I want this year. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A born terror, a rebel without a pause... Ain't never had a good Christmas, so who is Santa Claus? — Shyheim Copy Share Image
You remind me of Santa in that you work about one day a year and spend the other 364 days judging. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm trying to get far away from [picturing God as] Gandalf or Santa Claus. — William P. Young Copy Share Image
The only thing wrong with the U.S. economy is the failure of the Republican Party to play Santa Claus, — Jude Wanniski Copy Share Image
“Mum looks like someone has told her that Santa will be shortly arriving with that guy from Pride and Prejudice in tow.” — Melissa Keil Copy Share Image
In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins? — Rush Limbaugh Copy Share Image
“Nonsense, this is my home and I must defend it. It’s time for Santa to get serious.” — Michael Diack Copy Share Image
![“I'm trying to get far away from [picturing God as] Gandalf or Santa Claus.” quote by William P. Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/47e/william-p-young-3038_far-away_i-m-trying-to-get-far-away-from-picturin_3115679.jpg)
