Christians are like a thirteen year old kid who still believes in Santa. — Jim Jefferies Copy Share Image
When a telemarketer calls, give the phone to the nearest child and tell them it's Santa on the phone! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Well if it's Santa on an early shift, I hope he's brought plenty of coal.” — Tabitha McGowan Copy Share Image
Once you stop believing in Santa Claus, the whole world just goes downhill. — Tom Clancy Copy Share Image
Luckily, I always travel with a book, just in case I have to wait on line for Santa, or some such inconvenience. — David Levithan Copy Share Image
LAST YEAR I ASKED SANTA FOR THE SEXIEST PERSON FOR CHRISTMAS… I WOKE UP IN A BOX — MEEE Copy Share Image
I'm just saying, don't think that there isn't a proverbial "Santa Claus" now. — Bobby Ray Copy Share Image
At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me ! — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
You folks feeling the economic pinch? Are you a little fed up with the economic news? It's bad. The department stores, this… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Santa Jr. I was a cop. Yes, I was officially Santa. But a younger Santa. He goes young, clean-shaven, to how we… — Judd Nelson Copy Share Image
May Santa Claus grant you all that you wish for this Christmas. Here's wishing you and all your loved ones a very… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but… — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
I studied at UC Santa Cruz before going on to do a grad program at UCLA. Santa Cruz was like an awesome… — Aaron Koblin Copy Share Image
If you look at Christmas movies, there are certain things in them that lend themselves to a 'Harold & Kumar' movie. In… — Hayden Schlossberg Copy Share Image
Yeah when you're in the middle of filming this movie [Bad Santa 2] it doesn't matter what you say you can think… — Christina Hendricks Copy Share Image
I work with a place in Santa Monica called Phase IV. My doctor recommended them to me when I started losing weight.… — Drew Carey Copy Share Image
“Why thanks", Santa said. "you're awfully kind... (Though they are a bit snug ... on my ample behind." "Don't worry," I told… — Jim Harris Copy Share Image
The primary factor that enables our government to peddle economic snake oil is the dollar's unique role as the world's reserve currency,… — Peter Schiff Copy Share Image
The kindly God who lovingly fashioned each and every one of us and sprinkled the sky with shining stars for our delight… — Daniel Dennett Copy Share Image
Against expectations I was charmed by Gehry's Edgemar development, which housed the Santa Monica Museum of Art, and positively awed by the… — Leon Krier Copy Share Image
God was something I did not understand the way kids who went to church did. They said God was a man in… — Melissa Coleman Copy Share Image
But chiefly, no lies! No lies about there being a Santa Claus or about the world being full of noble and honorable… — Marilyn Monroe Copy Share Image
Today is [the feast of] Santa Rita, Patron Saint of impossible things - but this seems impossible: let us ask of her… — Pope Francis Copy Share Image
The US stole Texas from Mexico by violence, then invaded Mexico on ludicrous pretexts and conquered half of it, what is now… — Noam Chomsky Copy Share Image
“Even though he knew the man behind the Santa suit wasn’t some mystical being, Elliott believed.” — Stella Starling Copy Share Image
It is not my fault that my parents own the world's largest collection of black Santas. — John Green Copy Share Image
Are not we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? The birth of Santa Claus. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
A cynic is just a man who found out when he was ten that there wasn't any Santa Claus, and he's still… — James Gould Cozzens Copy Share Image
Look, at some point, people have to tell their kids that Santa Claus isn't real. I hate to be the guy to… — Floyd Landis Copy Share Image
“What's going on here?" Miles demanded, pushing his way past the last of the stampeding throng. "And why is Santa worshiping that… — Laura Resnick Copy Share Image
I never believed in Santa because I no white guy would come into my hood after dark. — 2pac Copy Share Image
In the years since his murder, we have transformed King into a kind of innocuous black Santa Claus. — Timothy B. Tyson Copy Share Image
Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide. — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
![“Yeah when you're in the middle of filming this movie [Bad Santa 2] it doesn't matter what you say you can think of some sort of way to twist it into something dirty so we were laughing a lot.” quote by Christina Hendricks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09e/christina-hendricks-5321_bad-santa_yeah-when-you-re-in-the-middle-of-filmin_858739.jpg)
![“The kindly God who lovingly fashioned each and every one of us and sprinkled the sky with shining stars for our delight - that God is, like Santa Claus, a myth of childhood, not anything [that] a sane, undeluded adult could literally believe in. That God must either be turned into a symbol for…” quote by Daniel Dennett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ec/daniel-dennett-3895_abandoned_the-kindly-god-who-lovingly-fashioned-ea_2710685.jpg)
![“Today is [the feast of] Santa Rita, Patron Saint of impossible things - but this seems impossible: let us ask of her this grace, this grace that all, all, all people would do good and that we would encounter one another in this work, which is a work of creation, like the creation of the Father. A…” quote by Pope Francis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/436/pope-francis-85_amen_today-is-the-feast-of-santa-rita-patron_288044.jpg)
