“This Santa's beard was real, and so was his hair. He wasn't fucking around.” — David Levithan Copy Share Image
The reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I grew up in Davenport, Iowa, but I moved to Santa Clarita, California, when I was 6. — Julia Michaels Copy Share Image
Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized… — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
If the Pilgrims had landed in Santa Monica Bay rather than Boston, we'd have six states out here! — Kevin Starr Copy Share Image
Do you remember when you found out there was no Santa Claus? I was so upset I didn't think I'd be able… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Santa knows Physics: Of all colors, Red Light penetrates fog best. That's why Benny the Blue-nosed reindeer never got the gig. — Neil deGrasse Tyson Copy Share Image
The worst gift I have ever gotten on Christmas is going to see Tim Allen in 'The Santa Clause.' — John Gourley Copy Share Image
When I was 21 years old, I had a job playing Santa Claus in a shopping centre in Sacramento. I was rail… — Tom Hanks Copy Share Image
Jesus was a white man, too. Its like we have, hes a historical figure thats a verifiable fact, as is Santa, I… — Megyn Kelly Copy Share Image
Every year, dads will dress up as Santa and try to surprise their kids by coming down the chimney, and every year,… — Kyle Dunnigan Copy Share Image
Texas, to be respected must be polite. Santa Anna living, can be of incalculable benefit to Texas; Santa Anna dead, would just… — Sam Houston Copy Share Image
What is the real purpose behind the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus? They seem like greater steps toward faith… — Chuck Palahniuk Copy Share Image
We laughed about all the kids who believed in the Santa Clause myth and got nothing but a bunch of cheap plastic… — Jeannette Walls Copy Share Image
“In hind sight, telling him all strangers wanted to eat him wasn’t my finest hour. Having to explain to a bunch of… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father,… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
Suddenly the land is haunted by all these dead Indians. There is this new fascination with the Southwest, with places like Santa… — Richard Rodriguez Copy Share Image
No, he was no such charlatan-- Count de Hoboken Flash-in-the-Pan-- Full of gasconade and bravado, But a regular, rich Don Rataplane, Santa… — Edmund Clarence Stedman Copy Share Image
I can remember, I think it was 1967, sitting in the First Unitarian Church in Isla Vista, Santa Barbara, and seeing Phil… — Sam Hamill Copy Share Image
Maybe that whole love thing is just a grown-up version of Santa Claus; just a myth we've been fed since childhood. So,… — Meg Ryan Copy Share Image
The only reason some of us are not exiled or thrown into prison is simply because we do not preach as fervently… — Oliver B. Greene Copy Share Image
The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin "Tubby" Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
There's one Baldessari work I genuinely love and would like to own, maybe because of my Midwestern roots and love of driving… — Jerry Saltz Copy Share Image
If you are clear where you are going and you take several steps in that direction every day, you eventually have to… — Jack Canfield Copy Share Image
