If Mitt Romney was Santa Claus, he would fire the reindeer and outsource the elves. — Ted Strickland Copy Share Image
We're going to start with the injury report, obviously. Manning, Clark, Addai, Reggie Wayne, Freeney, Mathis, Brackett - all those guys will… — Rex Ryan Copy Share Image
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
We have domesticated God's transcendence. We often learn about God at about the same time as we are learning about Santa Claus;… — Karen Armstrong Copy Share Image
I'd like [Santa Claus] to give Wes Anderson, the director, enough money in his next budget for an aerial shot - just… — Bill Murray Copy Share Image
My mouth gaped and I think I might have whimpered. The Norns had obliterated him completely—a creature they’d known for centuries—because of… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Sit peacefully in a church and think of church history: witchburning perhaps, or child abuse, genocide, the amassing of disgusting wealth, the… — Kaz Cooke Copy Share Image
Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny should take a few pointers from the mutual-fund industry. All three are trying to pull off… — Jonathan Clements Copy Share Image
I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. Underneath the mistletoe last night. She didn't see me creep down the stairs to have a… — Jimmy Boyd Copy Share Image
The idea of God as a fatherly figure who looks down on us and worries about how we're doing or takes sides… — Dave Matthews Copy Share Image
Basher shook his head. "No, we climbed in through a ground-floor guest bedroom all ninja-like. Snuck up the back stairs." "Then you… — Jonathan Maberry Copy Share Image
“An ounce of goodness everyday, Can soothe the heart in many ways, An ounce of goodness "just because" Don't wait until Christmas… — Charmaine J Forde Copy Share Image
"The only reason some of us are not exiled or thrown into prison is simply because we do not preach as fervently… — Oliver B. Greene Copy Share Image
“She sighed and stepped out of the room, pulling the door shut behind her. Turning around, she nearly tripped over some of… — Phillip Andrew Bennett Low Copy Share Image
For me growing up, Christmas time was always the most fantastic, exciting time of year, and you'd stay up until three in… — Chris Pine Copy Share Image
When you’re young, your world is pretty limited. My parents, my family, my church dominated my world. And because Birmingham was so… — Condoleezza Rice Copy Share Image
Look, I understand that for a lot of people, the US is superior to their country of residence in myriad ways, but… — Max Barry Copy Share Image
Everyone thinks of God as a man - you can't help it - Santa Claus was a man, therefore God has to… — Patti Smith Copy Share Image
I was probably nine or ten the first time I heard there was no Santa Claus. — Joe Nichols Copy Share Image
"You don't believe in God," I said to Stein. "God is a word banging around in the human nervous system. He exists… — Peter De Vries Copy Share Image
“In my country childhood, we had many Christmas traditions: the fun and adventure of cutting down a tree from our ranch, hilarious… — Larada Horner-Miller Copy Share Image
You folks feeling the economic pinch? Are you a little fed up with the economic news? It's bad. The department stores, this… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket. — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
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