Women have it good when it comes to masturbation. Guys, we just have our hands. For the rest of our lives, that's it. Sometimes your friend will go, 'Ever try your left hand? It's like a whole different person.' Yeah,… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
I think, here's what I've realized from interviewing people, and I've been very open about my Catholicism and my love of Christ and I… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
You remember from watching the show, there are no "jokes." That's why if you see people on Twitter accusing me of being a "joke… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
My wife and I have long discussions about [George] Carlin, and we refuse to accept that he died an atheist. It's just, confounding. When… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
I remember I used to go to The Laugh Factory and just goof off onstage, and then I'd see Dane Cook. He did a… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
I didn't want to fight a guy from England. What if I lose? Not that English guys aren't strong, but who wants to get… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
All that waiting around for a glimmer of stage time, just getting angry every week... It was just an oppressive, horrible, horrible place to… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
First of all, my wife writes half my act. I don't know how I could "steal" from my wife. — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
If there are 1,500 people in a theater and they're all there to see you, there are no other guys. You're the guy. So… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
I'm a comic because I don't want to do the nine-to-five, I have to modify that and say I'm a comic because I have… — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
![“I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the order.” quote by Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/af2/jay-mohr-4777_construction_i-m-telling-you-i-could-teach-at-a-unive_29549.jpg)
![“My wife and I have long discussions about [George] Carlin, and we refuse to accept that he died an atheist. It's just, confounding. When I talked to Kelly [George Carlin's daughter] about it, she said that George Carlin once took her at about 12 years old and said, "I've figured it out." And he…” quote by Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/888/jay-mohr-4777_accepting_my-wife-and-i-have-long-discussions-abou_105382.jpg)
