Poop Quotes · Page 2

Question: What is the white stuff in bird poop? Answer: That is bird poop, too.

— Kurt Vonnegut

If you haven't noticed yet, working sucks. Unless you are a racecar driver or an astronaut or Beyonce, working is completely and…

— Aisha Tyler

“The foundation of human health is poop!”

— Steven Magee

They tell you that at his age, all they do is eat, sleep, and poop. And what I've learned is they can…

— Josh Duhamel

Farts and poop are still funny and will always be funny.

— Mark Hoppus

When [George W.] Bush was elected, I think they thought I would have some sort of special "in" with that administration, to…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Putting Windows [3.11] on top of DOS is like putting whipped cream on a road apple [horse poop].

— Scott McNealy

“You are all made of real poop.”

— Anne Frank

I don't think twice about picking up my dog's poop, but if another dog's poop is next to it, I think, 'Eww,…

— Jonah Goldberg

You think, "Aw man, I would never want somebody else's poop on my hand," but when it's your child, "Oh, it's not…

— Richard Sherman

“Does koala bear poop smell like cough drops?”

— Tom Robbins

I would like to apologize for referring to George W. Bush as a 'deserter.' What I meant to say is that George…

— Michael Moore

Ram it up your poop chute.

— Frank Zappa

It is hard to get mad at Donald Trump for saying stupid things, in the same way you don't get mad at…

— Jon Stewart

If aliens are watching us through telescopes, they're going to think the dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see…

— Jerry Seinfeld

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political,…

— Sarah Silverman

When you get called the n-word, as a black person you can do anything. It's like getting a gold star in Super…

— Donald Glover

The fact that Gene Weingarten and I and Bathroom Inventory are now part of some kind of Matrix of Poop strongly suggests…

— Dave Barry

My most smelly job was at a kennels and cattery, and I basically spent all day scooping poop.

— Sara Cox

“I was still a newlywed and certainly wasn't to the point where I felt comfortable yelling, "I'm going to shit my pants…

— Mollie Gross

Poop humor is fun. If you do the toilet scenes well and commit to them, they can be really, really powerful.

— Sandra Bullock

We're wild horses. We're going to eat your food, knock down your tent and poop on your shoes. We're protected by federal…

— Dave Barry

Going into therapy doesn't guarantee poop on toast.

— Laura Schlessinger

Sometimes, music is like poop. It just has to come out.

— Mark Salling

I avoid the carwash when I think it might rain anytime in the near future, which means I drive around the majority…

— Kristin Armstrong