Neither liberal nor conservative politicians can resist the temptation to stand as mighty sequoias of rectitude amid the lowly underbrush of fundraising. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Politicians are always interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If we're going to improve the environment, the first thing we should do is duck the government. The second thing we should… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Government subsidies can be critically analyzed according to a simple principle: You are smarter than the government, so when the government pays… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A politician who commends himself as 'caring' and 'sensitive' because he wants to expand the government's charitable programs is merely saying that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The question nowadays is not what makes government work. The question is how do we make it stop. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Politics should be limited in scope to ware, protection of property, and the occasional precautionary beheading of a member of the ruling… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“Political pundits are under professional obligation to regard the obvious as being too obvious.” — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It is very hard now to shock people into thinking about government regulation and the extent of government involvement in life. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I understand Twitter has become popular among politicians. This technology allows them to stay in perpetual contact with their constituents. The electorate… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
America is not doctrinaire. It's hard for an American politician to come up with an ideological position that is permanently unforgivable. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There are just two rules of governance in a free society: Mind your own business. Keep your hands to yourself. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In the language of politics, there is only one translation for the phrase 'hope and change,' to wit: 'big, fat government.' — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Politics is the business of getting power and privilege without possessing merit. A politician is anyone who asks individuals to surrender part… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Politicians will talk strategy and tactics and policies and programs until they're blue in the face, or you strangle them and they… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
One of the things that makes me a conservative, or a libertarian, or whatever the heck it is that I am -… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When a thing defies physical law, there's usually politics involved. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Government isn't a good way to solve problems ... [G]overnment is concerned mostly with self-perpetuation and is subject to fantastic ideas about… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In theory, taxes should be like shopping. What I buy is government services. What I pay are my taxes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The inherent purpose of American government is let people seek their own goals and to encourage them to be responsible on the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You can't get something for nothing. Everybody remembers this except politicians. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The American political system is like fast food - mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things and everybody wants some. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image