What makes it difficult for people trying to follow a dream is that the whole time you feel like you're slamming your… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
None of this seems to affect the leadership, that people don't go out to vote, that they don't feel the need to… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
For a while, I thought the great disappointment of my life was that I don't have a family of my own. Then… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I do the same gig. I might change it a little; I might slow it down if I'm in the South. I… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I don't Tweet a lot because I've Tweeted things that I thought were really innocuous about subjects that are inflammatory, and the… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
Democrats should be focused on which way we can help the most people in this country, and Republicans should be focused on… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
When people come to my act any time after Thanksgiving, I usually say, You shouldn't be here. You should be shopping. Our… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I am angry that the Democrats don't have the ability to explain to Republicans that we should be able to feed people… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I continue to work on plays, but I've always felt that you could put a note in a bottle and send it… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
Jesse Ventura is basically proof that the people of Minnesota are not social drinkers... they are obviously alcoholics. — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
Christians have created a holiday that has become a beast that cannot be fed. Christmas gets longer and longer and longer, and… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I went to New Zealand this year, and, whew man, I know a lot of people want to go there. But let… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
You look at my audience, and it proves what Congress thinks America is, is wrong. I get people across the political spectrum.… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
People go to Vegas, and they don't know what to do; here's what you do. You go to the casino in your… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
Some people have religion as a means of solace. But, I had a dreidel, so that was out. — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
If you're going to vote for somebody because you think they have a great faith in God, you'd better be sure that God has… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
“I don't know if you've noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit looking at itself in the mirror.” — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
These ballot initiatives against same sex marriage remind us that America is the land where people are free to dream whatever they want, so… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
If you're going to pick a book and you want to base a system of government around it, why not 'Harry Potter?' — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
No matter what, your parents are going to worry about you. I had a tour bus, and my mother still thought I was broke.… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I'm always amazed when I hear people saying, "That George Bush, he's a great leader". And I wonder, where can one find a drug… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I knew that I'd lived in New York too long when, a few years ago, I was on a subway going downtown, and it… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
If you're seeing a psychiatrist, you're wasting money because all you've got to do is get on a plane, get on a subway tomorrow… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap. — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I'd like the campaigning to be about all the things they're not going to do. Just tell me what you're not going do! Don't… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
