A street in Constantinople is a picture which one ought to see once-not oftener. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German in thirty… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Heaven knows insanity was disreputable enough, long ago; but now that the lawyers have got to cutting every gallows rope and picking… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you take epitaphs seriously, we ought to bury the living and resurrect the dead. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
My philological studies have satisfied me that a gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The symbol of the race ought to be a human being carrying an ax, for every human being has one concealed about… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If the statistics are right, the Jews constitute but one percent of the human race. It suggests a nebulous dim puff of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It now seems plain to me that that theory ought to be vacated in favor of a new and truer one...the Descent… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The low level which commercial morality has reached in America is deplorable. We have humble God fearing Christian men among us who… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Nevertheless we have this curious spectacle: daily the trained parrot in the pulpit gravely delivers himself of these ironies, which he has… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Two things seemed pretty apparent to me. One was that in order to be a pilot a man had to learn more… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Persons who think there is no such thing as luck good or bad are entitled to their opinion, although I think they… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Crowds stand around all day long and criticise that bridge, and find fault with it, and tell with unlimited frankness how it… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Some authorities hold that the young ought not to lie at all. That, of course, is putting it rather stronger than necessary;… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Your road is everything that a road ought to be...and yet you will not stay in it half a mile, for the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It takes a thousand men to invent a telegraph, or a steam engine, or a phonograph, or a photograph, or a telephone… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
from the beginning of my sojourn in this world there was a persistent vacancy in me where the industry ought to be.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
