Just went to a lovely Catholic wedding. I need a drink. They didn't even offer us water. Well they did, but it… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
My girlfriend just told me I am one of the smartest people she knows. I told her, You need to meet other… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
I will always prefer a hardback book, but I'm drawn to digital because it's so easy to acquire them when I'm having… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
Oil is sixty dollars a barrel. There are terrorists everywhere. We have a catastrophe in our world every ten minutes. I don't… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby's behind. If his ass was covered in calluses. — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
Some people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought. — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they're really… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
I don't like the negative of reality tv - the 'you're no good, so you have to leave, I choose you, but I thought… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
If you're hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person? — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
A lot of the comedians don't even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it. — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked. — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
I can't do negative, needy, or narcissistic anymore. Oh wait, I can still do the last one, aw nuts. — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv,… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
Now people want what the movie was about, which is violent comedy. And that's really what The Aristocrats is based on - what will… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, 'Radio can wait, take me to the Full House… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
