We have such an embarrassment of riches when it comes to choice. Do you want to hike in the Alps? There are 300 pairs of shoes you can order within the next 10 minutes. You have your choice of everything. — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
If I put down my tweeter machine for a minute, I actually can communicate with people. As an aside, astonishingly, I just started doing Twitter. — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
I worked a lot in Chicago's theater scene as a fight choreographer. And so I do have a lot of experience in stage combat… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
I think that laziness in many ways is the human condition, and that's what has led us to this place where, as we've developed… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
“Of course, my fundamentals may not work for everyone. A beautiful aspect of the human race is our endless variety. Like maple leaves and… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
“Whatever the adversity, if a man is on hand to provide ease to a lady’s cause, I think he’s a shitheel if he stands… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
If you like comedy, go home and curl up with Leviticus. The writers of The Onion are handed Leviticus on their first day. — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
I've learned through experience that to trouble celebrities with my handshake doesn't do anybody any good. — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
I think that purity creates not only a higher level of artistic vision but a purer work ethic. — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
Auditioning for television shows - to find a guy who has a lot of experience as a laborer is a bit of an anomaly.… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
My uncles, who are farmers in Minooka, Illinois - I grew up with them and their pickup trucks and mustaches, and to me that… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
A lot of people find themselves in the entertainment business - or perhaps society steers them toward it - because they're beautiful. — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
You know, even working actors can end up having a lot of spare time. And you can either go sit at the Starbucks and… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
