New Jersey Mayor Corey Booker last night personally rescued a woman from a burning building. Or as Fox News reported it, 'black… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
McCain was introduced at the convention last night by his wife -- I won't say 'trophy wife' -- but she did $300,000… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When those myths were created, when the Bible was written, man didn't know what an atom or a germ was, or where… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A new biography of Madonna came out last week, and apparently the biography lists all the men she's slept with. The book… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Married men live longer. Yes. And an indoor cat also lives longer. It's a furball with a broken spirit, that can only… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Is it like gay men go into the priesthood because they figure, Well, this'll solve my problem. I can't be a homosexual… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans are always saying we should privatize things like schools, prisons, social security - hey, how about we privatize privacy! Because if… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Now that they've finished reading the Constitution out loud, the Teabaggers must call out that group of elitist liberals whose values are… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New rule: Stop calling it Obamacare. It's not like Obama will be the doctor for your next prostate exam. That's just a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't want to be a pessimist. I'm a realist. One man's realist is another man's pessimist. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
