Every Gag I tell must be based on truth. No matter how much I may exaggerate it, it must have a certain… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
What's the matter with the world? Why, there ain't nothing but one word wrong with everyone of us, and that's selfishness. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
We all joke about Congress but we can't improve on them. Have you noticed that no matter who we elect, he is… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Personally, I have always felt that the best doctor in the world is the Veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
The Lord so constituted everybody that no matter what color you are you require the same amount of nourishment. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
When you have helped to raise the standard of cooking, you have helped to raise the only thing in the world that… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Texas is a great state. It's the 'Old Man River' of states. No matter who runs it or what happens to it… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
A man that don’t love a horse, there is something the matter with him. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
A Democrat is just like a baby. If it's hollering and making a lot of noise, there is nothing serious the matter… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Both gangs have been bad sports, so see if at least one can't redeem themselves by offering no alibis, but cooperate with… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
After seeing kids play polo against big guys, it only shows that horses are the greatest equalizer in the world. No matter… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Will Rogers used to say he wouldn't run for president no matter how badly the country needed a comedian. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
It's no laughing matter being a Republican in these perilous times. Anyone can be a Republican when the stock market is up,… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
We are always saying: Let the Law take its Course but what we really mean is: Let the Law take OUR Course. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
The Democrats and the Republicans are equally corrupt where money is concerned. It's only in the amount where the Republicans excel. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Farmers, get out your sense of humor. Congress meets to relieve you again next week. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
American invents everything, but the trouble is we get tired of it the minute the new is wore off. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
There are two things I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony, and the other is… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
I don't think you can make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature. You've got to work on his conscience. And his lack… — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
