Once you start buying first aid kits you start having accidents. — George Mikes Accidents Copy Share Image
THE British are brave people. They can face anything, except reality. — George Mikes Brave Copy Share Image
“Many Continentals tink life is a game; the English think cricet is a game.” — George Mikes English Copy Share Image
English humor resembles the Loch Ness Monster in that both are famous but there is a strong suspicion that neither exists. — George Mikes Comedy Copy Share Image
Rich people (in Australia) have swimming pools in their gardens but, at least, they do swim in them. — George Mikes Australia Copy Share Image
Australia objects to the mini-skirt not on moral but on economic grounds. Australians are no prudes and the lovely, healthy, sporty Australian… — George Mikes Australia Copy Share Image
On the Continent there is one topic which should be avoided-the weather; in England, if you do not repeat the phrase "Lovely… — George Mikes Avoided Copy Share Image
A couple from Sydney or Melbourne might leave on the same day for their holiday: the wife might go sun-bathing at Surfers… — George Mikes Australia Copy Share Image
“While all this goes on, the English remain staunch believers in equality. Equality is a notion the English have given to humanity.… — George Mikes Equality Copy Share Image
The British suffer from a most unfortunate superiority complex - unjustified even under Victoria and most certainly hopelessly out-of-date today. — George Mikes British Copy Share Image
The Art of Conversation could not die in Australia; it never lived. Television did not kill it; there was nothing there to… — George Mikes Art Copy Share Image
I asked many friends if Australian anti-intellectualism was still a living force and they all told me it was. If you are… — George Mikes Above average Copy Share Image
On the Continent stray cats are judged individually on their merit-some are loved, some are only respected; in England they are universally… — George Mikes Ancient Copy Share Image
The British are proud of their ability to create a muddle and then muddle through all difficulties. I must shake the British… — George Mikes Ability Copy Share Image
Japan suffered terribly from the atomic bomb but never adopted a pose of moral superiority, implying: 'We would never have done it!'… — George Mikes Accepting Copy Share Image
Was he joking? Was he being sarcastic? Aggressive? Impertinent? Or just courteous? There was no telling from his impassive face. What a… — George Mikes Aggressive Copy Share Image
“I have been told that my above-described theory is all wrong and is only due to my Central European conceit, because the… — George Mikes Theory Wrong Copy Share Image
“In the last century, when a wicked and unworthy subject annoyed the Sultan of Turkey or the Czar of Russia, he had… — George Mikes Annoyed Sultan Copy Share Image
Remember that those five hundred words an average Englishman uses are far from being the whole vocabulary of the language. You may… — George Mikes Average Copy Share Image
“Before you are admitted to British citizenship you are not even considered a natural human being. I looked up the word natural… — George Mikes Citizenship Copy Share Image
“An average English house combines all the curses of civilisation with the vicissitudes of life in the open. It is all right… — George Mikes Life Copy Share Image
“Mr S. got angry. ‘Yes, I do have a son. He’s a good-for-nothing. A dead loss.’ I couldn’t ask which prison he… — George Mikes Prison Copy Share Image
On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. — George Mikes Continents Copy Share Image
The English have no soul; they have the understatement instead. — George Mikes England Copy Share Image
The man who is not afraid of danger is not a hero, but a psychopath. — George Mikes Danger Copy Share Image
Humility is one of the most repulsive virtues, nearly always false. — George Mikes Character Copy Share Image
The English are always ready to admire anything so long as they can queue up. — George Mikes Admire Copy Share Image
The English take everything with an exquisite sense of humour. They are only offended if you tell them that they have no… — George Mikes English language Copy Share Image
Prices in Italy are only slightly lower than in France, which means that Italy is a very expensive country for everyone, natives,… — George Mikes Country Copy Share Image
A criminal may improve and become a decent member of society. A foreigner cannot improve. Once a foreigner, always a foreigner. There… — George Mikes Crime Copy Share Image
I said in my earlier book, and find no reason for retracting my statement, that the famous Jewish sense of humour got… — George Mikes Book Copy Share Image
The Japanese are human beings like the rest of us, but they will strongly resent this insinuation. — George Mikes Funny Copy Share Image
'I don't say a Zionist must be insane,' said President Weizmann, 'but it helps if he is.' — George Mikes Funny Copy Share Image
Nobody uses his car in New York, because so many people use it that traffic is congested and unbearably slow. — George Mikes Car Copy Share Image
“IT is easy to be rude on the Continent. You just shout and call people names of a zoological character.” — George Mikes Continent Copy Share Image
It is great fun dying in the United States of America. It is great fun first of all for the undertakers who… — George Mikes America Copy Share Image
It is often said that the Japanese are extremely clean at home, or inside any house or office, but dirty and untidy… — George Mikes Clean Copy Share Image
